No.
She gritted her teeth, pain lancing in her forehead from the strain. She had to hold on, had to keep it open. For Seraphina, for Avenay, for her brothers.
She had to do something worthwhile for once in her godsdamned life.
“Stop it,” Dryston ordered. “You’re killing her.”
She wanted to tell him to stop always interfering and saving her. Anger rose like bile in her throat. Dryston was arguing with another acolyte, and she wanted to yell, to scream at him, but no words formed around the clattering of her teeth.
Some dark power flowing in her lashed out, hitting Dryston. She wasn’t aware she’d done it until it happened. He slammed against the wall, his head cracking, and he slumped to the floor. Kaemon rushed to him at the same time that Enid halted, jumping to her feet and running for him as well. He blinked and looked up at her, shocked and concerned. He touched the back of his head and brought his hand forward, blood there.
“I’ll be fine,” he said, stunned as he looked at Enid in confusion and wariness.
Her stomach tightened. Warmth was returning to her limbs, and she realized how close she’d been to collapsing.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
“I’ll be fine,” he repeated, standing and reaching out to check her, but she stepped back, rubbing her arms. What the hell had she done?She’d wanted to protect all of them and she’d hurt him. With that raw, untamed power.
“I think that’s enough for today,” Hevena said, defeat in her voice.
Enid whirled on her. “Was that enough? Is that what I should do for the rite?”
Hevena pursed her lips. “It was close.”
Enid blinked. That was close? What in the darkest pit would it mean for her to be right on the mark? She had almost passed out.
She wasn’t strong enough. The other demon had done it without a colony with her. But even with her brothers present, Enid was overwhelmed.
“I believe that under the power of the moon, it will be different,” Hevena said unconvincingly. “Take some rest for now.”
Enid nodded, processing it all. She wouldn’t be able to do it, would she? Would she die in the process, not breaking the enchantments? Saving no one?
Why was she so weak? Was it her own mind? Thoughts swirled like daggers, piercing her with each new barb it produced. She wanted to cry, to scream, to break something.
Like she was.
Kaemon wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and she looked up at him. His eyes held a deep worry, but a smile was plastered on his face.
“There’s a bar nearby with live music that Sylvaine said is similar to old demon folk music,” he said. “Let’s go. Unwind and rest.”
Enid nodded, hanging her head as he led her out. She couldn’t look at Dryston, Onora, or the other witches. Why had the goddess led her here? She wasn’t strong enough. She never had been. Weakness flowed through her veins. The only thing she’d ever been good for was an eye-catching headline.
Enid barely registered when they came to the bar as the sun set. There was a lively tune, and it managed to make her foot tap, even as she stared down at the ale Kaemon had ordered for her. When had it come? She finally looked up at her brothers and she started in shock when she saw Onora sitting at the end of the table.
Onora narrowed her eyes at Enid’s confused look. “Stop wallowing, bat. You’ll figure it out when the time comes, and I’ll help you.”
“Even if we both die?”
“You’re not going to die,” Dryston growled.
Onora’s eyes didn’t leave Enid’s as she replied, ignoring Dryston. “Even if we die.”
Enid brought up her glass, clinking it against Onora’s, a faint smile coming to her lips. Maybe the woman wasn’t so bad after all.
“No one is dying,” Dryston said again. “It’s not worth the risk. If you feel like it’s going to kill you, stop. Pull back and reevaluate.”
“I don’t have to live for the spell to be broken,” Enid whispered. “The demon who sealed it died.”