“I’m sorry I couldn’t save her,” Semyon says quietly, his voice raw, stripped of its usual steel and ice. “I promise, Anya, I tried.”
Semyon doesn’t look away or even flinch but lets me see him as he truly is—loyal and devoted, holding onto quiet regret he’s carried for years. Willing to be the scapegoat.
For years, I’ve imagined this differently—maybe I’d scream and rail against him, throwing things or even fists, demanding justice for the mother I lost. But now I feel… hollow. And past that well of sadness… a little hopeful.
Semyon’s voice is softer this time. Unraveling. “I used to think needing someone made you weak,” he admits. “That love was a liability, that it would make you concede control.” He huffs out a laugh. “I was right, in part.”
“About what?” I whisper. I need to know.
“That love makes you lose control. I’d give anything for you, Anya. I’d do anything for you. The thought of losing you—I’d carve my own heart out, then go back to life without you. Withoutus.And I’ll do anything to prove that to you.”
I stifle a sniffle. Semyon bared open and pleading hits me harder than I could’ve prepared for.
“I don’t love you the way you deserve,” he whispers. “But I swear to god, I’m going to wake up every day and try over and over again until I’ve got it right… until there’s not a doubt in your mind… until youknow?—”
I fall into him, holding onto the only thing that has ever made sense to me. It feels right and natural and so damn perfect when his arms encircle me, and he holds me tight.
“I love you, Semyon. I’ve always loved you, and sometimes I hated that I did, but I still do.”
“And I love you.”
When he holds me tighter against him, I wonder if he’s the one who fears being left like I always have.
I tilt my head up to meet his eyes. “We’re going to put this in the past with everything else that happened. Thank you for telling me the truth.”
His fingers find mine.
“God,” Eli says with a hoarse laugh. “You guys are going to really rub it in, aren’t you?”
I grab Semyon’s shirt and fist it in my hand, yank him to me, and kiss him—hard, unrelenting.
“Answer enough,” Eli says, cursing under his breath. “You two get a room. Oh, wait. You have a whole house. Guess that’s my cue to go to bed.”
I bury my head on Semyon’s chest. I don’t want to be apart from him, even for a second.
“I’ve got your stuff in Stefan’s room,” Semyon says. He tells Eli how to get there. I’m amused—he wants both of my brothers under close supervision.
The house is quiet as Semyon and I sit alone. The monitors buzz, waiting for a command. I lay my head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
I feel… lighter.
He smells of vodka and woodsmoke.
“Thank you,” I whisper. I want to go on, to elaborate, but my throat feels tight.
“For what?”
“For trying to help her. For forgiving Eli. For… marrying me.”
Semyon chuckles. It’s happening more often now, but it still never fails to make my heart swell from the sound of it. “If you think you’re the only one who benefits from this scenario, little Anya…” When he tips his finger under my chin, I look up at him.
“Thankyou,” he says before he gives me a brief, chaste kiss.
I smile at him and echo his question. “For what?”
With a sigh I feel deep in my bones, he shakes his head. “For teaching me that I’m actually capable of loving someone. For forgiving me. For loving me.”
I thread my fingers through his. Our heartbeats sync.