One way or another, I’m going to make sure that I see them again.
I have to.
The rain keeps drumming on the roof, but I ignore it.
I need to go meet Dino.
Dinner passes without any incident. After, Andrei is coming to follow me, and I’m certain that he’s not going to let me walk in the garden alone.
My heart thumps in time with the rain.
Then, my father grabs his elbow. He murmurs something in Portuguese. Andrei looks at me for a long minute before he nods, and lets my father lead him away.
This is my chance.
I don’t bother with a jacket. I know that I should, and that I might attract attention if I walk out into the garden with nothing on, but I don’t care.
I need to get out of this house.
I need to meet with Dino. He’s the only person in the world, interestingly, that reminds me of my girls, and I miss them so desperately that I’m just dying to be closer to them.
He’s the only one who can fulfill that for me, and it’s extremely confusing, but I need him.
I need…
The realization that I need Dino confuses me. I don’t want to need him, that’s for sure.
We don’t know each other. Nothing has changed.
Except for the fact that every cell in my body is craving him right now.
My feet slide around in my sandals as I steal out into the garden. I mentioned the mango trees to Andrei earlier, when Dino was there in the pool room.
Or, at least I think that Dino was there.
The panic claws at me again. There are too many things that I’m leaving up to the world, and that are currently just… chance.
I don’t even know if Dino was listening earlier. I tried to see if I could look inside the changing room for his feet, but I couldn’t do that without getting Andrei’s attention.
I have no idea if he heard me or not.
So, I’m still charging out into the garden with nothing concrete to go on whatsoever.
I guess if nothing else, I’ll be able to look at the mango trees and think of my mother.
It takes one minute for me to realize that coming out here was a mistake, without a raincoat of some kind on. My dress is clinging to me within seconds, because the rain isn’t just coming down.
It’s flowing like a waterfall.
Slowly, so that I don’t slip in my shoes, I walk toward the back.
The mango trees are in the furthest part of the garden. There’s a little bench underneath them, and I find that if I sit on it, I’m sheltered from the worst of the rain under the thick branches of the trees.
I can even tuck myself further back into them so that someone coming up the path won’t be able to see me.
The privacy hits me.
I haven’t been alone like this in…