We’re on the plane, hours into the flight, when Marisol finally falls asleep.

I shuffle her slightly, so she’s tucked into her long sleeping seat against the window. I turn to Nico sidling in next to him in the empty seat, my voice low.

“You, motherfucker, are going to tell me exactly what the hell is going on? No games. No fuckin’ questions. Got it?”

He pulls his sleeping mask off, and takes his seat out of the reclined position.

“Why do you have a problem with your brother helping?”

“Because Marco’s help doesn’t come without a fuckin’ price,” I growl.

Nico nods. “He thought you would say that. Here,” he says, handing me a phone.

I blink.

“In the videos. He made you one. Play it,” Nico says, handing me headphones.

I don’t want to.

But my fingers put the headsets into my ears. My hands shake, but I find the video, the only one, and I press play.

Marco’s face fills the screen.

He doesn’t smile. As per usual. He gazes solemnly at the camera, and speaks.

“I know you’re pissed. I know that right now, you’re probably thinking of ways to remove Nico’s spine, and shove it somewhere that spines shouldn’t go. I know, Dino. And I know you’re mad at me.

But I had to.

I’m not trying to fish you out of this, brother. You chose to go to Benicio, you chose to take on the competition.

I’m proud of you.”

That sentence, somehow, pokes at something in my chest.

“I’m proud of you, Dino. I always have been. You had the courage to do something I could never do, which is to forge your own path. You and Sal both have made your way in the world, and even though I interfered with that at various points, you had the courage to tell me to fuck off. To tell dad to fuck off. I admire that, and I wish I hadn’t seen that as something bad. You are who you are without any concerns, and I’m… I wish I could present myself to the world as you do.”

There’s a strange, grim regret in his eyes, and for a second I wonder what the fuck that’s about.

He sighs, continuing.“Nico is your cousin on your father’s side. I offered them a million dollars to retrieve you, but you’d be interested to know that they turned it down at first. He wanted to get you himself, because he said he wanted to get to know his cousin. The money, I will give them, but don’t let Nico fool you. He was more interested in you than the money, and I think it’s because he’s an idiot who has no interest in running the dredges of the Drakos family.”

I snort at that, casting a glance at Nico. I don’t think he’s an idiot, by any means, but I absolutely can see that Nico has no interest in being a head of family.

He’s far too happy for that.

“You have a chance to make your own path, this time, again. A family to start over with. I know we weren’t the family you wanted…. That I wasn’t the brother you wanted,” his voice trails off, and regret clutches my stomach.

“But, I hope this could be a chance for you. You can forge your own path with the Drakos family. See what you can do. We’ll be here if you need us, but you’re better than an enforcer for Elio. Better than a dock supervisor for me. You are my little brother, and I love you. If you need me, you know how to find me,” Marco says.

The video ends.

I stare at the screen until it goes blank.

So many emotions swirl through me, I don’t even know where to begin. I fucking hate it, because I don’t know what to do.

Marco said he loved me. That he was proud of me. Some very small part of me, a little boy inside my chest, is beaming and parading like a fuckin’ show pony.

I hate that it matters so much.