Page 81 of Shattering

His fingers curled into his jeans. "She never stopped looking over her shoulder. Even when she was dying. She still worried about me."

Dr. Sloan leaned forward slightly. "You mentioned she had episodes. That there were days she couldn't get out of bed."

Gray nodded, staring at the floor. "Yeah." His voice was barely above a whisper. "And now I finally get it."

Dr. Sloan stayed silent.

Gray shook his head. "She wasn't weak. She was carrying something too fucking heavy for one person to bear. An entire life of trauma. And no matter how much she loved me, it didn't erase what they did to her."

His jaw clenched, rage coiling inside him, hot and restless. "I feel so fucking angry on her behalf." His hands shook as he ran them through his hair. "I don't even know where to put it. There's no outlet. No justice. She deserved better."

Dr. Sloan let the anger sit, let it burn out without suffocating it. Then he said, "And what about you? Do you think you deserve better, too?"

Gray barked out a rough laugh. "I wouldn't even know what that looks like."

Dr. Sloan tapped his pen against his notepad. "You've been struggling with something else, haven't you?"

Gray exhaled slowly, rubbing a hand down his face. "The money."

Dr. Sloan nodded, waiting.

Gray let out a slow, shaky breath. "The money they gave her when she left—millions. In exchange for silence. For keeping my last name. For making sure no scandal touched them."

His teeth clenched. "I hated it. Still do. It's blood money. I never wanted to touch it."

Dr. Sloan was silent, waiting for him to continue.

"But..." Gray exhaled sharply, his shoulders slumping. "I want to buy the house."

Dr. Sloan arched a brow. "For yourself?"

Gray let out a hollow chuckle. "For Cadi and Tomos."

Dr. Sloan's lips pressed together in understanding.

"I know what Mam would have wanted," Gray murmured, his voice rough. "She would've wanted me to give them the life she never had. A home that's ours. No debts. No worries." He swallowed hard. "I want to take care of them. I want to make life easier for Cadi in any way I can. That's more important than any pride I have left."

Dr. Sloan gave a slow nod. "Do you think using the money dishonours your mother? Or do you think it's a way to give her sacrifices meaning?"

Gray sat with that for a long time.

Then, finally, he whispered, "I think... it's what she would have wanted."

Chapter 38

Cadi paused outside Tomos's room.

The door was half-open, and she could hear Gray's voice, low and steady, reading aloud.

"Peter was not very well afterwards, and it was a long time before he was strong enough to go out again. But one evening he said to his mother—"

Cadi leaned against the doorframe, watching as Tomos curled up under his blanket, eyes heavy with sleep, listening intently to every word.

Gray's hand rested lightly on his son's back, gentle, present.

"I suppose I shall go back now?" Gray continued reading. "Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be just in time!"

Tomos yawned, blinking slowly. "Da?"

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