How was he supposed to live with himself?
A heavy shudder wracked through him, his hand gripping the neck of the bottle tighter.
The rage he had carried, the certainty that had fuelled him, had been the only thing keeping him from feeling this-
The deep, hollow guilt.
The possibility that he had just destroyed the best thing in his life over a lie.
And now, there was nothing left to do but watch the wreckage burn.
Chapter 21
Morning arrived too soon.
Cadi woke slowly, her body aching with exhaustion, but there was a small, warm weight pressed against her. Tomos.
He was curled up beside her, his little face peaceful, his tiny fingers still clinging to the frayed edge of his red blanket.
She hadn't slept beside him like this in a long time.
The last time had been the night Gray and Tomos decided to watchHarry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Tomos had been terrified that the Dementors were lurking outside his window. He had appeared beside her bed in themiddle of the night, his blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders, his voice small.
"Mam... can I sleep with you?"
She had let him climb in, pressing a kiss to his curls, tucking the blanket more securely around him. Having his warm little body beside her had made her feel better too.
Just like it did now.
Her throat tightened as she held him a little longer, savouring his warmth, the quiet moment before the day truly began.
Then, softly, she murmured, "Wake up, baby. We need to go see your Da."
Tomos blinked sleepily, rubbing his eyes.
"Why?"
"Doctor Gupta has asked for a test."
A flicker of worry crossed his little face. "Does the test mean a needle?"
Cadi smoothed a hand over his hair. "No needles. Someone is just going to look at your throat, that's all."
Tomos let out a breath of relief. "Oh. Okay."
She helped him get dressed, buttoning up his favourite striped jumper, then led him downstairs.
After buckling him into his car seat, she turned on the music—soft, instrumental—unsure how to answer any questions he might ask on the drive.
But Tomos stayed quiet, his small fingers resting on his lap, his gaze fixed on the passing houses outside.
Too soon, they pulled into Gray's driveway.
The front door opened immediately.
As if Gray had been waiting just inside.