Page 108 of Shattering

Gently, like she was made of the finest gossamer, Gray took her hand in his.

His fingers flexed on her hand, his eyes searching hers. "Ya know I'm have the emotional intelligence of a five year old. I wish I could read yer mind and make everything alright, ya know. Wipe the board clean." His voice dropped, rough and serrated. "But I can't. So ya need to tell me."

Cadi exhaled slowly. "I'm worried about being helpless again."

She stared at him for a moment, then hesitated before saying "I'm struggling with trust."

Gray's chest ached that he had put that note in her voice, but before he could say anything, she added, "But let's be honest—you must be as well, with what I hid from you."

Gray studied her, then nodded slowly. "Maybe just a little. But ya didn't know the whole story."

She continued, voice carefully even. "You lost control, Gray. You let your jealousy, your insecurity, your pride—everything—turn you into someone I didn't recognize. And what scares me is... what stops it from happening again?"

Gray's chest ached at the weight of her words, but before he could answer, she added, "And why didn't you ever tell me she was flirting with you?"

Gray let out a long breath, running a hand through his hair. "I ignored it. Frankly, she wasn't the only one. I just made sure everyone knew I was married. Thought that'd be enough to keep them off."

He ran a hand through his hair, his voice quieter this time. "I should've told ye sooner. About Vanessa. About all of it."

Cadi swallowed. "Yeah. You should have."

Gray nodded, accepting it. "I thought if I ignored it, it'd go away. That if I kept me head down, kept wearin' my ring, people would back off. But ye were right—it wasn't enough."

Cadi's eyes darkened. "It wasn't."

He grimaced. "No, it wasn't. Usin' her to make ye jealous was a stupid, reckless mistake. I lost me fuckin' mind. If I could go back, I'd kick me own arse for it."

Cadi crossed her arms, her expression unreadable. "And why? What were you trying to prove?"

Gray let out a humourless chuckle, shaking his head. "That I mattered to ya as much as ya mattered to me."

Chapter 49

Gray looking down at where his hand was clasped in hers. "It was never about Vanessa. Never. I just... I didn't know how to handle what I was feelin'. I thought ya were pullin' away, that ya didn't want me anymore. I let all that insecurity twist me up inside, an' instead of talkin' to ya, I tried to force a reaction out of ya."

He looked up then, his stormy eyes meeting hers. "I'll regret that for the rest of me life."

Cadi stared at him, her throat tight.

Gray had always been a man of action more than words, and now, seeing him like this—laid bare, ashamed but willing to own his mistakes—it hit differently.

Her voice was quieter when she finally spoke. "I was never pulling away, Gray."

Gray's expression twisted. "I know that now."

Cadi sighed, rubbing a hand over her face. "I was scared. Scared of how much I relied on you, how much I needed you. And then when you—when you changed, I felt so bloody helpless. Like the floor had just gone out from under me."

Gray cupped her face with both hands, his large palms warm against her cheeks, his expression tender. "Ye'll never be helpless again, Cadi."

She searched his face, wanting to believe it. That made Cadi melt a little bit even though she didn't want to. "You didn't just hurt me, Gray. You hurt Tomos."

Gray closed his eyes briefly, his shoulders sagging slightly, withdrawing his hands. "Aye."

Cadi swallowed. "He saw you fall apart. He saw you turn cold. And now, even if he's forgiven you, it's changed him. He asks questions he never used to ask. He hesitates in ways he never did before. And I can't help but think... what happens next time?"

Gray opened his eyes, his gaze filled with something raw and unguarded. "There won't be a next time."

Cadi arched a sceptical brow. "How do you know?"

---