Page 26 of Broken By It

Moving up to him, I tap my bottle over his causing the foam to rush up and grin at his face. Silly thing we all do randomly to each other.

“Dad night out?” Wesson teases me.

“Fuckin’ coparenting shit sucks.” I take a pull from my beer, “It’s her weekend. Can’t sit in the silence.” Honesty, I can’t be this open with everyone about what an empty house does to my headspace, but Busted gets it. I can only imagine what an empty house and quiet does to him after Emmalee up and left like she did.

“Find a barfly and enjoy the time you have away.” Wesson tells me, and I simply sigh.

There isn’t a barfly that can satisfy the need inside of me. I’ve tried more than one of them. Pussy is pussy for a release, but it’s all meaningless. Sometimes a man can’t deny the pull to have someone that matters under him. The woman I want is off limits even as my mind and body crave her affection.

“Brother, you need to find a barfly and fuck Emmalee away,” I counter taking a pull from my beer. “Shit hasn’t been right with you since the broad left.” I have to stop thinking about Maritza or my night will be ruined.

He doesn’t reply. What is there to say? He’s as twisted up inside for Emmalee as I am for Maritza. The difference is he’s had a taste. I’ve had years of torment watching and knowing it can never be. Maritza and I have a pure connection. More than that, she fits into my life, my world perfectly. It can never be though. I struggle to fight the attraction, but my life is complicated, and she deserves a man without baggage.

Busted and I stay in place together in silence watching everyone around us have a good time.

Wallflowers, that is what we are tonight apparently. It’s my usual, as I’m not the most social of men. Conversation isn’t really my thing. Say what needs to be said and move on.

Maritza is out there moving her hips and swaying to each song. I’m hypnotized by her. Like a damn drug, I need a hit and can’t pull away from the allure that is all her.

“Some shit burns deep even if you have never really had it, huh?” I mutter more to myself than to Busted, but he takes notice, and I need to redirect. No one can know how I feel about Maritza. I won’t put my brother’s torn between me and her father if I was to ever even attempt something there.Off limits, I mentally remind myself what I know to my very core. “Shake her off, Busted. Women are a special hell, brother.”

He simply nods and takes a long pull of his beer. I follow suit. It’s a hard thing to literally be surrounded by people but feel completely alone. I sense Busted understands this. There are some things even the fulfillment of a cut can’t fix. The brotherhood matters above everything, but knowing outside of this family I’m alone, it hits home every moment of every day.

Everyone here is having a good time, yet I’m yearning for something more. I’ll leave here tonight, lay in a bed with nothing but a pillow for my head. There was a time where I desired nothing more than an empty bed. When shit got bad with Anna, our bed was the last place I could find rest. Having peace from that, the chapter being closed, I don’t treasure the empty bed like before.

Busted keeps drinking and for once I decide to give in alongside him. Drink for drink, beer for beer, whatever my brother does, I’m right alongside for the ride. At some point Maritza leaves and I keep tossing back the drinks with my brother.

In the dark of my position none of them notice me. It’s me, my beer, and my thoughts.

Time passes as we put them back, one beer after another, adding in a whiskey sour here and there. Busted and I both are feeling nice. Before long, we are both wasted.

I feel myself struggling to remain upright as hands grip my sides. “Alright, big guy, time for bed.”It’s Danza always taking my back, my only thought as the room spins before I pass the fuck out.

“Are you fuckin’with me right now, Link?” I yell into my phone trying to wake the fuck up.

My head pounds while I struggle to focus on what my cousin is telling me. My mouth feels like I swallowed a pack of cotton balls, and I crave water. I look around taking in the space. How did I get here? It’s fuzzy. We are in one of the duplex crash pads. Roundman had these built ages ago on the compound so when other charters came to visit Haywood’s Landing or one of the brothers didn’t need to drive home, we had a place to sleep, shower, shit, and exist. They are used for that to this day, but also for any brother needing a roof. More than once, I stayed in one early on in the divorce. It was a safe place to have Hollis while I was working out details with Anna. I couldn’t afford to get my own spot while paying all the legal fees and keep up the mortgage on the home Anna has. I was grateful for the place then, and still now since I clearly had no business trying to make it home on my own.

Last night as we drank away our loneliness, Busted and I ended up here thanks to Boomer and Danza. It’s all beginning to come back to me. Neither of us were in a condition to drive. They tucked us in so to speak. I could almost laugh about it, if I hadn’t gotten this call. In this moment, I’m on edge and freaked the fuck out.

“Why the fuck did she do this?” I roar as anger consumes me. “He’s my fuckin’ son. She can’t leave Onslow damn countywithout notifying me. Are you one hundred percent it’s his tracker pinging?”

Instantly, I regret even giving Anna an ounce of trust. I could have had full custody. I had enough on her to prove negligence especially those final months when she was leaving him to go get drunk. Add the driving under the influence ticket she got with endangering a minor additional charge, there isn’t a judge in the county who would have denied me full custody. I didn’t push it because Hollis loves his mom. Until this moment, I thought, she was coming out of whatever funk was holding her back. I was wrong. Some people can’t change.

My pulse races as my mind goes crazy. Yes, I have a tracker on my son and my cousins who run an investigations company follow it for me at all times. Jacoby Investigative Services is owned and operated by Lincoln, Draven, and Nixon. They found their niche is tracking fugitive for bail bondsmen, getting evidence for civil cases like divorces, for insurance companies or businesses involved in liability cases. Thankfully for me, I’ve only ever needed them to give me the comfort and security of tracking Hollis. Granted, I never imagined actually needing to use the service. I’ll never apologize or feel sorry for going the extra mile for my family. And they won’t apologize for helping me either.

“Where did he ping last?” I pause, looking around seeing Wesson’s phone, I thank God he’s here. “Send the link to Busted’s phone. He’s here with me. I can look while we plan.”

This is a battle and its mission critical.

By this point, Busted is up, in his chair turning to grab the phone from the nightstand and wheel right to me. His eyes are full of concern and questions. This isn’t how I would want to wake up either.

I explain, “Bitch took my son out of state. Link got the alert when Hollis crossed into Georgia. He’s sending you a video from a business she’s at.”

With Busted beside me, I switch the phone to speaker. This isn’t private, this is my son. I’ll let anyone in on it that can help me get to him safely. Busted quickly puts in his passcode and we open the video.

“How far did she get?” I ask Link, then looks to Busted to spell it out, “they started calling hours ago, but my drunk ass was passed out and missed the calls and messages. If she’s still in Georgia, it’ll be a miracle. We are behind the curve ball bigger than shit.”

“Hey, we got people, Ravage will step in if she’s in Georgia. One step at a time, brother.” Wesson tries to reassures me. Yes, I’ve met some of the Ravage guys. They will do what they can … that is if he’s still in Georgia.

---