Page 90 of Beauty's Monstrous Demons

BAST

Ihave been in my bedroom for the last ten hours, trying to force myself not to track Lorelei down. Samael’s fears have dug their claws into my mind, getting wilder and wilder with every passing moment. Image after image of her being hurt, raped by Adares, or killed in a half a dozen ways has had me spiraling.

It’s all I can see as I press myself into a corner of the room, whispering that it’s not real.

“Fucking fear demon,” I whisper. “She’s alive. We saw her. Lorelei is alive.”

Saying her name makes things worse, and I dig my claws into my thighs in an attempt to find a connection to what’s real. None of it helps, as every effort pulls up a different image of her death.

I actually pushed my dresser in front of my door to keep myself from breaking out, but now my window is begging me to use it. I know I could open it, and push my body out. Everything in this building is made with monsters in mind. I doubt the architects had suicide in mind though when they drew the drafts for these buildings.

If she’s dead, then there’s no reason for me to continue to live, right?

A part of me knows Samael is controlling my mind, but the other parts that are obsessed with Lorelei are horrified that there’s a world where she doesn’t exist in it. Her light, the brattiness that makes me insane, none of that exists without her. As the sky lightens outside of my bedroom window, I finally break.

Pushing aside my dresser is child’s play. The only reason it worked as long as it did is because I didn’t want to wake Thorley up. Though, he had a girl with him, so I shouldn’t have bothered.

He’s in the middle of fucking her in his bedroom as I stride through the apartment. Glancing down, I see that I’m only half dressed, and grumble to myself. It’s better that Adares is dead, because he’d be pounding on Thorley’s door, telling him to share or get out.

It happened last semester, and Thorley punched him in the face. Rolling my eyes at the memory, I stumble back to my room to pull off my clothing and change. Time is moving funny, and my thoughts are jumbled. I can’t wear yesterday’s clothing.

Sweats are the best I can manage, if I’m going to visit a ghost, I may as well be comfortable while I do it.

My mind is hazy, feeding me brief moments of clarity before telling me that the person meant for me is dead. It’s a mindfuck to think that I may never hear her beautiful voice sing, or listen to her curse me out.

Barely remembering to grab my keys, I walk out of the apartment, only to find that the door has been left unlocked again. Fuck, I don’t know why I bother. Lorelei is the only one who ever locked the door.

There aren’t many people in the hallway as I walk to the elevator, trying to figure out what I want to accomplish byleaving. My thoughts are tumbling over each other at a rapid pace, and when I look up, I imagine that I can see Lorelei.

Except her body is bruised and mangled, her eyes dead. Blinking hard as I gasp in a breath, I stab at the button to call the elevator up to my floor.

It can’t be real.

“Not real,” I mumble, stepping through the hallucination as I get into the elevator. The sound of my voice is jarring, and I shudder as I look around myself.

Pushing down the button for the lobby, I drop my head back on the wall behind me. My heart is pounding, my ears are ringing, everything in me telling me that something is desperately wrong.

The hours since I’ve physically been in Lorelei’s presence have been too long, I need to know she’s alive. I just worry about my ability to know what’s real or not.

Fuck. The revenge and anger of a fear demon is no joke. Pissing Samael off was a bad idea, but I also needed a reality check. My own anger at myself was misplaced and I redirected it at Lorelei.

Someone who was hurt and in pain. I thought… so many things. If the danger was this much, then maybe she shouldn’t be here. Yet, in the next breath I accused her of being dumb or a liar.

Fucking stupid is what I am.

I’m stuck in my head as my feet take me to Phenex’s apartment building. The locks have just unlocked for the morning, so I don’t have any trouble getting inside. I’ve stalked her so thoroughly, it’s not a surprise when I find the apartment and begin to bang on the door for entrance.

Appearances be damned. I need answers. Is she really dead? By this point, my sanity is unraveling. The closer I got to theapartment for some reason, the worse my hallucinations and anxiety get.

They’re waking nightmares at this point.

“Let me in!” I scream, uncaring of the repercussions.

“Bast, what the fuck,” Phenex sighs, opening the door.

“You know exactly what the fuck,” I grumble, pushing him out of the way, looking for her.

Lorelei is standing in the middle of the living room, but I can’t tell what’s real or not. Walking toward her, I see blood flowing from gaping wounds in her body, her eyes bloodshot. When she holds out one of her hands to me, her fingernails are broken or pulled off, the nailbeds destroyed.

---