Page 27 of Catalyst

That was kind of fucking dumb but to each their own.

“If I don’t do well in my classes, my mom and dad will never want me back. We’re getting our hero assignments in Wearable Combat Systems! I can’t do well if I have a terrible partner.” Her words came out between panicked breaths as her tears flowed far too freely for my liking.

“Callie…” Was now the time to tell her that her folks were shit-bags who didn’t deserve her. Probably not. “When’s the next time you have that class?”

“Tomorrow… It’s my last class every Monday and Tuesday.”

I took a deep breath as I tried to look at this whole ridiculous thing through her eyes. To me, she was willing to kill herself over classes and assignments that didn’t matter… But, from what I knew about Callie, she was not only a high-achiever; she was a people-pleaser. So, to her, this probably wasn’t just a missed day.

And, if her special brand of anxiety was like Sulien’s, this probably felt like the end of the world. If she didn’t go to school today, she fucked up everything. Even if none of that was true, she didn’t need to hear that.

“Callie,” I said her name slowly, drawing out the time I had to think. “If you’re sick, you’re not going to learn much today… one of your professors might even send you home.” Did they do that in college? “Taking a day off won’t kill you, even if it feels like that.”

Her hands fell away from her face, revealing wide, impossibly blue eyes, ones filled with a desperation that didn’t fit the Callie I knew. She nodded slowly as she took a shaky breath, but I could tell she didn’t believe me. If she had, she wouldn’t have resorted to trying to get up again.

So, I laid an arm across her chest, anchoring her to the mattress.

“I know you want to make your parents proud… but some people just aren’t worth killing yourself over,” I whispered, the words spilling out before I could second-guess them. “Anyone worth your time would want you to be okay. Right now, you need to worry about you and the baby.”

Her bottom lip quivered as fat tears continued to roll down her cheeks, her sadness causing her freckles to glisten like stars. She lay in her defeat, allowing me to sweep the damp strands of golden hair away from her face. We stayed in that silence for a moment, but after a moment, she cleared her throat and wiped her eyes.

“Why do you have to be right?” Her voice was laced with so much vulnerability that it barely sounded like her.

“First of all–I’m always right.”

She shot me a glare before focusing her gaze back on the ceiling. “Do you know what it’s like to have to earn your place in your family?”

Tell her about your dead parents. Nope. Don’t do that—bad idea. I just shook my head instead.

“My siblings are Heroes. They’re everything my parents wanted… but I’m not enough. And even though they’ve never said it, I know their love has always been conditional.” Her fingers curled around the edge of her blanket, turning white as her hands shook. “I can’t be a hero… If I can’t make them proud, what good am I?”

I knew I hated heroes… But that little comment just solidified how terrible they were.

“You don’t exist to make your parents happy. You think that not being what they wanted means you’re worthless? That’s bullshit. You’re more than enough, regardless of if they see it.” I reached out, taking her hand in my own and squeezing it softly. “If you want to go to school tomorrow, for you, not to makeanyone else proud, I’ll take you myself. But today, you’re staying in bed and letting me wait on you hand and foot.”

She stared at me; her gaze wide and unblinking. But she wasn’t crying, so that was a plus. It looked like she was probing my mind, trying to find anything that would undermine what I had just said, but there was nothing of the sort. I meant it, every last word. Especially the ones where I told her she was enough. Her hand tightened on mine.

I’d already figured that Callie’s life had been a series of impossible hoops her parents expected her to jump through. And somehow, she’d done it again and again and again. I wasn’t sure how much of herself she’d sacrifice in the name of earning their love, but she’d never do it again, not while I was around. And it felt like just the idea of that had her on the edge of breaking down.

A watery smile tugged at her quivering lips.

“Can we cuddle?” She pleaded. “This happened a lot when I first got pregnant, and I always felt better when my mom or sister held me.”

My eyes burned as tears threatened to form. Not because I was sad but because I was so inexplicably angry. How the hell could her family abandon her if they knew she needed them?

I swallowed down my anger. Right now, she didn’t need it.

“Of course.” I tried to keep the shake out of my voice as I climbed into bed beside her.

The concerningly-wet sheets stuck to me, and instantly, I wanted to get up. But that was the thing about caring for someone… sometimes, you had to sacrifice your wants for their needs, and that, unfortunately, was a lesson her parents never learned.

I pulled her close, allowing her to relax into me. The heat of her body caused me to all but immediately start sweating. Evenso, I stayed. Her fingers twined into my shirt, almost as if she feared I’d leave the second she inevitably passed out.

“I was right. You’d be a wonderful nurse.” She mumbled into my chest.

“... Who’d you tell that to?” I asked, trying to piece together where her latest, yet somehow most unexpected compliment came from.

But sleep had claimed her far before she could answer me. And, as the steady rhythm of her breathing cascaded across my chest, I let the idea marinate.

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