Page 21 of Catalyst

I eyed Jace for a moment as I considered if I wanted to play this game. Fuck it, it wasn’t like I had anything better to do.

“So, If you were trying to compliment me, what would you say?”

“I’d say that you do afantasticjob concealing the massive stick you keep shoved up your ass.” He couldn’t even say that bullshit with a straight face.

“Oh my god, you’re so funny that I forgot to laugh.”

Jace snorted, barely containing his chuckle as he hopped off the counter. “Oh, lighten up, Princess. You couldn’t take it if I complimented you.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what you think it means, Princess.” He leaned down, resting his elbows on the table as he looked into my eyes. “Right now, I could tell you that you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. And, no matter how genuine I was, you’d never believe me. Which ishilariousbecause you can tell exactly what I’m thinking.”

He reached over, tapping my nose with the tip of his finger. The action was meant to be patronizing, which meant it should have pissed me off… But it didn’t.

I swallowed hard, trying to keep my cool, but the intensity in his voice was doing things to me. Things that, frankly, made me feel a bit like a slut.

“I’d believe you if you were actually beingrealand not just messing with me,” I said calmly.

“Callie, you think I’m just messing with you?” He feigned a gasp, pressing his fingers to his lips.

“I know you are. That’s just how you are with me.”

His smirk softened, and for a moment, vulnerability flickered in his eyes.

“Maybe… but not always.” The usual playful edge to his voice faded.

“So, then tell me something serious.” I whispered.

I expected Jace to tell me to fuck off or make another joke. But he stayed silent, his eyes trained on mine. I tried to read him based on his demeanor alone. Normally, I was good at that. But Jace was so rarely serious that this felt impossible, so I pried a little deeper into his mind so that I could hear his thoughts loud and clear.

His brain was a mess of thoughts, racing against each other, trying to be front and center in his cacophony of a mind. But one topic floated above the rest:me.

“You want real? Callie, you’ve fucked up your life by experimenting with men you should have never looked twice at.”I need to push her away.

My eyes widened, not from his insult but because of what came after. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” He pulled back, rubbing his jaw as he did. “Kane’s a pickpocket, I’m a prostitute, and Sul… Well, it’s not nice to speak ill of the dead.”I hate my fucking job, but what else can I do?

“Jace…” I said his name slowly, torn between defending Sulien’s honor and telling Jace I was poking around in his mind. “You don’t mean that.”

I wasn’t sure what else to say, but I hoped repeating that would get the point across.

Jace’s eyes narrowed as his jaw tensed. I could feel his frustration, but under it, his mind was alive with fear. Fear that I’d agree with him, fear that I’d walk away, fear that he was making a mistake by letting someone like me get close to someone like him.

“I don’t mind that you’re you,” I said calmly, suddenly reminded of my early conversations with Sulien. He’d always feared he wasn’t good enough for me; it was like he couldn’t see what I did.

Jace averted his gaze before whispering, “Maybe you should.”

I shook my head. “I’m okay… I’m not trying to fix you either.”

It was hard to tell if that was a concern for Jace or not, but I figured it was better safe than sorry.

He looked back up, his eyes lingering on mine just long enough for his next thought to flit into my mind completely uninterrupted.

What if I want to be fixed?

The silence that followed that thought was suffocating. If I asked Jace what he meant, I’d have to admit I knew he thought it. And, if I did that, I’d destroy the razor-thin moment of vulnerability blossoming between the two of us.

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