Page 16 of Catalyst

I swallowed hard, hoping it would ease the dryness in my throat. It didn’t.

Jace rolled his eyes before grabbing a plastic cup off the nearby table.

“Open,” he ordered, bringing a straw to my lips.

I hesitated for only a second before obediently parting my lips. The water was ice cold and refreshing, and I greedily drank until the cup was empty.

When I pulled away, I realized Jace was touching me, and not in a sexual way either. His fingers lightly raked through my hair, the motion so soft I almost thought I’d imagined it. But when I looked up at him, his normal air of mischief was missing.

I tried to poke in his thoughts, but his mind was quiet. Not that his head was empty, his thoughts were just… distant, like trying to eavesdrop on a conversation in another room. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was too exhausted to pick up on them or because Jace was intentionally blocking me out. Either way, I didn’t like it.

“Where’s Kane?” I asked softly.

“Smoking and making a few phone calls… He’s pissed, by the way.”

My lips twitched into a frown as I sank deeper into the all-too-firm hospital pillow. “Because I upset his mom?”

“What?” Jace snorted. “No. Because you scared the hell out of him.”

His words made my chest tighten again. I blinked quickly, trying to stop the familiar burning sensation in my eyes. I bit my lip and turned my face away from him, but that only seemed to make it worse.

“Stop it.” Jace’s voice was sharp but not unkind.

“Stop what?”

“That.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees so his face was level with mine. “You’re spiraling. I can smell it.”

I jerked back, my brows knitting together. “What the hell do you mean you can smell it?”

“Your blood,” he said calmly. “You’re anxious, and I can smell it. Something about cortisol. I can’t remember exactly what Sul said being anxious did, but I’d smell it on him a lot.”

His words made me freeze. If he could smell that, what else could he smell? I’d known Jace was a hemomancer, but I’d never considered how that ability might translate into…this.

Jace ran a hand through his messy hair, glancing up at the ceiling as if collecting his thoughts. “If you work yourself up again, you’re going to go down again, and I’m not playing catch the Callie a second time.”

A pang of guilt mixed with something I couldn’t quite name washed over me. Apparently, the mystery feeling was anxiety. I despised the fact that Jace was the one to point it out to me.

“Hey, you’re not going to cry, are you?” His voice softened, losing its usual teasing edge.

I forced a watery laugh. “Maybe… pregnancy does that. Just don’t make it weird.”

Jace leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. A smug smirk played at the corner of his lips. “Oh, Princess. Weird is what I do.”

This time, my laugh was genuine.

But my smile faded as a memory hit me like a sucker punch.

The night before Sulien died, he’d fallen asleep with his cheek pressed against my stomach. His thoughts had been so tangled with excitement and fear that I couldn’t tell where one emotion ended and the other began.

The ache of his absence swelled in my chest, growing so large that it felt like I might choke on it.

“I miss him.” The words slipped out before I could stop them.

Jace didn’t pull away. Instead, he reached out and rested his hand on my shoulder.

“I miss him too.”

Those four words shattered me. The last frayed nerve holding me together snapped, and a sob clawed its way up my throat.

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