Page 36 of Celestial Bodies

Souzie nodded. “It’s mental. You just need to get a handle on your mind in Lapistra.” She poked the side of his head with her finger. “Instead of looking for something that makes you crazy, try centering yourself. Or you can just think about Dacias’s body and hope for the best.”

Julen shook his head, then rubbed his eyes with his palms as he laughed. “I’ll let Lupan know that images of naked men might do my training some good.”

“I mean, we should all be so lucky.” She looked at Julen for a moment, then said, “I’m fucking proud of you! I mean, I’m mad that you did something so stupid, but look at you! You’re living your life, Julen! How many times have you snuck away to meet your secret boyfriend now? All while roaming about the territory with that little slut. Talk about multitasking…”

Julen cackled as he leaned his head on her. “It’s not easy living a double life.” He sighed and looked down. “I don’t know what to do. Anytime I think about marrying her, I feel sick. I want to stop it, but I can’t.”

He ran his fingers through his hair. “My mother isobsessedwith the wedding. It’s become such a spectacle that if we cancel now, it would be a bigger calamity than the manifestation showcase. I thought maybe I could convince them to cancel it if I started manifesting, but that seems unlikely now. I just want to disappear…”

Julen could tell the wheels were turning in Souzie’s mind. She got a strange look on her face when that happened, as if she could have burned a hole in the wall with her gaze.

She looked at Julen and said, “What if you did?”

Julen shook his head. “I thought about running away. My father would hunt me down. He’d do it just to spite me. He’d ransack Cupidor if he found out I went there. I don’t want to hurt anyone while freeing myself.”

Souzie shook her head. “But they wouldn’t think you ran away if they thought you were…dead.”

The blood drained from Julen’s face. “What?”

Souzie shot up. “Julen! What if you faked your death?”

Julen’s eyes shot out of his head, and a cold chill washed over him. “What?How would I even do that?”

Souzie shook her head. “I don’t know yet, but we could devise a plan. Would you do that?Wantto do that?”

Did Julen want to live another lie? He hated that he had lied to Dacias. Could he do that for the rest of his life? Hoping nobody figured out his secret and looking over his shoulder forever?

He looked at Souzie. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can do that to my mother. She might—well, I don’t know how she’d handle it. Not anymore, anyway.”

Souzie rested her hand on Julen’s. “Think about it and let me know. My scheming brain is already cooking up possibilities.”

Julen pinched the bridge of his nose. “By the Mother Planet, do I even want to know?”

Souzie laughed and cocked her brow at him. “Probably not. Just think about it, though. I don’t want to see you marry that awful girl. I don’t want you to be unhappy.”

“It’s not your responsibility to save me from this marriage. This is my problem. You have enough to worry about.”

She did. She was nineteen and trying to survive on her own.She shouldn’t be worrying about me.

She huffed a laugh and rubbed her hands together like a storybook villain. “Honestly, this would be fun for me. Tricking those fuckers would be delightful.”

Julen couldn’t help but think about it, though. Where would he even go? Would Dacias want him in Rugiria? Are they at that point? This felt so fast. Perhaps Cupidor? Cupidor made more sense. Julen found it hard to ignore his excitement at leaving Lapistra for…anywhere else.

Then he thought of Souzie. “Would you come with me? We could go together.” He grabbed her hand as his excitement took over. He’d love living with Souzie. “We could get a place in Cupidor or something?”

She sat for a moment, her face contemplative. Then she looked at Julen and said, “I’ve thought about that. A lot. But leaving without knowing what happened to my father feels like I’m accepting he’s…” Her voice cut out. She swallowed and closed her eyes. “I’m not ready to accept that. I know it has been four years, but I’m not ready.”

Julen wrapped his arm around her, his mind racing back to the night it all happened. He recalled waking up to the sounds of screaming echoing through the compound, the flames illuminating his bedroom from outside. He rushed downstairs and opened the door to witness it all.

Chaos consumed the compound. Families became separated. People screamed, and children cried. The pounding sound of the military storming the castle filled the air. They had sided with Haligran and were instrumental in his ascent to the throne.

Then Julen spotted her. The guardians dragged Souzie away from her father. Her mother had died when she was a baby, and her father was all she had left. He would never forget the fear in her eyes as they beat him.

Julen ran and threw himself over her, screaming for them to leave her alone. Haligran, emerging from the carnage, approached and kicked Julen, trying to remove him, but he wouldn’t budge. Julen begged for her life, saying he would do anything. Souzie’s father echoed the same plea, begging Haligran to spare his child. Souzie wept as they carted him away.

Julen couldn’t stop the tremble in his voice. “I’m so sorry—”

“No. Please…”

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