Page 40 of Hard to Pretend

“Pissed?” Matt interrupted. “I know, but you don’t have to be an asshole about it.”

I heaved a heavy sigh. I hated when Matt called me out on my bad behavior. I hated when he called any of us out on bad behavior. He reminded me of a disapproving elementary school teacher when he did it, and I wondered if maybe he’d missed his true calling.

“I’m sorry,” I told Holden grudgingly. I didn’t think I was in the wrong for being upset, but I was wrong for taking it out on him and hurting his feelings. I looked over at Luce and Mason’s table. Their heads were together, and they were whispering, the steaming pizza on their table ignored. It was only a matter of time before they confronted Chris.

I needed to warn him.

“I have to go talk to Chris,” I told them, pulling money out of my wallet.

Holden caught my hand and shook his head. “I’ve got your part. Go figure things out with him.” I nodded. “I’m sorry again. If there’s anything I can do—”

“You’ve done enough,” I snapped. Matt shot me a harsh look, and I frowned. “Sorry. Being an asshole again. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

I’d probably be less of a dick once I knew that he hadn’t blown my relationship to smithereens and had some time to cool down.

I sent Chris several texts on the walk back to my car, but he didn’t answer. I went to his apartment and waited until he pulled up.

He was still laughing, a bright smile on his face as he hugged Natalie and got out of the car. He was so incredibly handsome. I felt my heart seize up in my chest. I was about to steal that beautiful smile right off his face, and I hated it. I hated it more when his smile grew the moment he laid eyes on me.

“What are you—” He stopped when he got close enough to see the dark look on my face. “What’s wrong?”

I didn’t know how to start. “I ran into Mason and Luce while I was out,” I began. It might not be the best way to do this, but I didn’t have anything better. Maybe ripping off the band-aid was the right choice. “We were at Pie in the Sky.”

“We?”

“Me, Holden, and Matt,” I clarified. Chris nodded. He looked confused, like he didn’t know what this had to do with anything. He was right. I wasn’t ripping off the band-aid. I was dancing around the band-aid and acting like it didn’t exist. I took a deep breath. It was time to rip it off. I could do this. I mean, sure, it might destroy the best relationship I’d ever had, but I could do this. “Holden may have let our origin story slip.”

The smile slid off of his face. “He did what?”

“He thought they knew.” I might have been pissed at Holden, but my protective instincts were alive and kicking. “He never would have said anything if he didn’t. He’s a dumbass, but he’s not cruel.”

I had been though. I’d been cruel to him, and I was having serious regrets. Apparently, it had taken me a lot less time to calm down than I thought it would.

“Why would he even say anything?” Chris asked, shaking his head.

“Because he’s Holden. He realized it was Luce’s party, and he wasn’t thinking.”

Chris nodded. I heard his phone vibrate, and he pulled it out of his pocket. His expression darkened. “It’s Luce.”

“I should go.”

I should leave him to face the repercussions of Holden’s actions. I hated that he had to deal with this alone. It was my fault. I should have made sure my friends knew that Chris’s friends didn’t know, that he hadn’t told them.

“Seb,” he said quietly as he silenced his phone. He slid it back into his pocket and took a step closer to me. I looked into his eyes, and I saw a sadness there that scared me. Was this it? The moment our story ended, weeks and feelings behind schedule. My heart felt like it stopped beating in the eternity of that pause. “Whatever happens, it’s not your fault, okay? I should have told them the truth.”

My heart stuttered back to a start, and the beating grew regular the moment his lips touched mine.

Whatever happened, we’d be okay.

“Call me later and let me know how it goes?” I requested as his phone buzzed again.

He gave me another kiss, promised he’d call, and walked up the sidewalk to his building, answering his phone as he went.

16

Ididn’twanttoanswerLuce’s call. I wanted to invite Seb in and hide from the consequences of my actions.

The house of cards I’d constructed with my lies had crumbled to the ground. The tangled web I’d weaved was coming unraveled. My friends knew the truth.

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