Page 39 of Hard to Pretend

“I didn’t hate it,” Matt countered. “And you were both cracking up for most of it, so don’t even say that was terrible.”

Holden shrugged. “I can find something funny and terrible at the same time.” He thought for a moment as we walked down the street toward Pie in the Sky. “Like… uh…” He trailed off, searching for an example of things he found both terrible and funny. Every time he looked like he might have something, he shook his head. I could practically see the gears turning in his head.

He didn’t have anything by the time we we were seated at the restaurant. Matt convinced him to give up trying to find examples, and we focused instead on what kind of pizza to order. We chose a large meat lovers, no ham because Matt hated it, and some garlic knots. We gave our order to the server and kept talking about the movie, the zoo, the antique store, and every other topic we could think of.

We were comparing the movie and an old childhood favorite when I heard my name called from behind me. I grinned as I watched Mason weave his way through tables, followed close behind by Luce.

“Mason, Luce!” I greeted, standing up to give each of them a quick hug.

“We thought that was you.” Mason had a big grin on his face as he pulled away. “Surprised you’re not out with Chris tonight.”

“Chris had plans with River and Natalie. Are you guys on the way out?”

“Waiting on our pizza,” Luce answered. “We couldn’t not come over and say hi.”

I motioned to the two empty seats at our table, inviting them to join us for a few minutes. I introduced Holden and Matt to Mason and Luce, and listened as they all started talking. Luce and Matt were hitting it off, talking about food and cooking. Matt had always loved to cook, and I remembered Chris saying that Luce was a professional chef. Mason and Holden were talking about some game they’d bothwatched, arguing about two different teams. I wished Chris was there, just to see how well our two groups of friends were integrating.

I could imagine the rest of our friends mingling. Maybe we could figure out a time to introduce them, some kind of get together that could combine our two groups for a night. After all, my friends were a huge part of my world. In many ways, they were my world. If Chris felt even a fraction of that with his friends, then it was important that they get to know one another.

I didn’t realize that the conversations had shifted until I heard Holden gasp. “Wait! You’re the Luce who had the birthday party, right?” He was practically wiggling in his seat, reminding me, not for the first time, of an overeager golden retriever puppy.

Luce was grinning ear to ear as she nodded. “I am. It’s where we actually got to meet this one.”

I could see what was about to happen before Holden spoke, but I didn’t have a way to stop him. I didn’t even think leaping over the table to clap my hand over his mouth could have stopped the inevitable. It also would have raised the red flag to Mason and Luce.

“Man, Seb was so nervous. He was afraid he’d blow the whole thing, say something wrong, and you guys would justknow. Instead, they got the whole rom-com thing going on.”

My eyes widened as Holden spilled beans that weren’t his to spill. Luce and Mason exchanged a look, and then they looked at me. I watched as color drained from their face and Mason’s eyes grew stormy. “That we’d know what?”

Holden, on the other hand, was less perceptive. “The fake dating thing. How long did Chris keep that up?”

“Holden,” Matt hissed, shaking his head.

Luce and Mason didn’t say anything at first. It was like time stood still, and I wished I could sink into the floor. No, I wished that Holden had been more perceptive. I wished he could have read the fucking room. He could have covered it. He could have said anything else, but instead, he’d blown the secret wide open.

I was pissed.

“Fake dating thing?” Luce repeated softly. I could hear the betrayal in her voice. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not up to him to explain it,” Mason said flatly, shaking his head at her. “Seb, it was great to see you. Our food should be ready soon, so we’re going back to our table.”

I watched as they rose from the table and walked stiffly back to theirs.

The moment they were out of earshot, I whipped around to face Holden. “What thefuck, dude?” I demanded.

“I thought they knew,” Holden countered. “I didn’t think you guys would make it real and not tell them the truth.”

“What? And you can’t read the room?” I questioned.

Matt shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He’d always hated confrontation. I didn’t like it that much either, but some things required it. I felt betrayed. I had never felt betrayed by my best friend before, by any of them, but now? Fuck. I was pissed as hell.

Holden studied me for a moment. He could see how upset I was. I think he realized there was nothing that he could do to make things better either. “I’m sorry,” he told me softly. “I really thought they knew.”

It wasn’t good enough. “Well, they didn’t, and now you may have really fucked things up for Chris.” Maybe for meandChris. “I hope you’re really proud of yourself.”

“Seb.” Matt’s quiet voice pulled my attention and ire away from Holden. “Stop. You know he didn’t mean to hurt you. Look at him.” I forced myself to look at Holden. His usual smile was replaced by a frown, and my heart ached. I didn’t like being the reason my best friend was upset, but I was still really pissed. He was careless. He’d screwed things up. But I didn’t need Matt’s next words to know another truth. “You’re being an ass.”

“I know,” I admitted. “I’m just…”

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