Page 34 of Hard to Pretend

My memory had not done him justice. I pushed past the tight ring of muscle. I pushed into him slowly until my pelvis met his ass cheeks. The whole time, he made noises that sounded like the sweetest sin. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to keep myself from losing it immediately. He felt so fucking good. When he moved for the first time, a subtle shift of his hips, I groaned.

“Move,” he requested, doing that thing with his hips again.

How could I say no?

We began to move together. Every movement brought new waves of pleasure. I bent his knees back against his chest and draped my body over him. Our lips found each other, and our tempo slowed down. It moved from fucking to something different, something I’d only experienced a few times in my life.

It felt like making love.

My heart warmed as his hands wrapped around me. I’d never felt as close to anyone as I did him in that moment. I rested my forehead against his as I moved in and out of him, slowly and confidently. His lips muffled my moans. I didn’t know how long westayed like that, bodies combined as one. We moved in perfect synchrony, each seeking a pleasure we could only find in each other.

“Close,” I panted out. I reached between us and wrapped my hand around his dick.

“More,” he moaned as I began slow strokes in time with my thrusts.

I pulled away from the kiss and repositioned myself so I was kneeling between his legs, his knees up by my ears. I gave him what he wanted, fucking him harder. He was getting loud, so fucking loud, as I pounded inside of him. It only took a few more strokes before he exploded in my hand. His warm release splashed against my chest, and I kept fucking him through it.

The sounds he made.

The way his channel tightened around me.

“Fuuuuck,” I cried out as my hips sputtered and stars flooded my vision. I felt my orgasm wash over me. It felt like swan diving off of a cliff into a sea of ecstasy, and holy shit.

I wanted to stay in that moment forever, but unfortunately, that wasn’t an option. I pulled out of him and tied off the condom, tossing it into the small trash can by my bed. We curled up against one another. I didn’t care about his cum drying on my chest. I didn’t care about anything other than holding him, basking in that post sex glow.

What was it about Seb that made it so hard not to be touching him?Not to be with him?

We stayed there until he was ready to move again, and when we left the bed, it was only to the shower. We washed each other and fell back into my bed when it was over.

The last thought I had as I was falling asleep with him in my arms was that I never wanted to sleep alone again.

13

Iwashappy.

Iwas.

Okay, I was happy about one part of my life. My relationship with Chris was amazing. It had been a week since we’d decided to make it real, and I had never been happier in that aspect of my life. He made me smile. On the two nights we hadn’t spent together, he sent me a text before bed and another in the morning. I couldn’t help grinning at my phone every time I saw his name pop up, and I saw it pop up all the time.

With the exception of the group chat with my friends, I think he texted me more than anyone.

If only the rest of my life could be as good as my relationship. I was still deeply unsatisfied at work. Another person hired after me had gotten assigned an account that I’d been considered for. To no one’s surprise, she’d been hired due to having an uncle inone of the offices on the top floor. He was an account executive or something. I didn’t have the same leg ups that some of my coworkers had, and it was starting to hinder my career’s progression.

I needed something to change.

I was pretty sure my friends were tired of hearing about it. On Thursday, I’d listened to all of my friends talk about their careers and accomplishments. Jonas and Silas had both been reassigned to amazing teams at work, though they were salty that they weren’t on the same project. I wished I had that problem. Hell, I wished I had the problem of even being assigned to a shitty team. I’d take that over more data entry. Matthew had gotten commissioned for a new freelance job. Eli was knocking it out of the park at the site he was acting as foreman on. Even Holden had gotten an impressive new client at the gym.

They all noticed the dark look in my eyes, and they asked the right questions. I opened up, but within fifteen minutes, they had the same glazed look in their eyes that I got when I was looking at the boring as hell data I was entering.

Eli said I needed to speak up, but I’d tried that.

It was pointless.

I was still down the next weekend when Chris came over. He’d tried small things to cheer me up. He’d given me a foot rub followed by a blowjob that made me see stars. He’d bought me my favorite dessert when we ordered pizza. When nothing cheered me up, hepulled me into his arms on the couch and paused the show we were watching. “What’s wrong?” he asked quietly.

I didn’t want to bore him, but the gentle pressure of his chin on my shoulder pried it out of me. “I hate my job.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d heard me talk about my job. He knew I was dissatisfied, but I’d never talked in depth about it with him. I’d always saved that for the boys. I trusted them in a way that I didn’t trust anyone else. I didn’t feel weird being vulnerable with them. It didn’t make me feel like I was being stripped naked in a bad way. Being open with a partner had always had that effect on me.

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