Page 8 of Pretty Lies & Ugly Truths

“Hey! I like my books,” I say, feigning outrage. “Plus, what can I say? My book boyfriends have never let me down, and theyalwaysleave me satisfied, something I certainly cannot say about my actual past boyfriends.”

“Oh shit!” she says as she barks out a booming laugh that has several heads turning in our direction. Her amusement is so infectious, that I can’t help but join in. I don’t know if it’s the laughter, the music, or just being out with my friends, but something in my chest unwinds, and I feel more like myself than I have in weeks.

“What’s so funny?” Susannah asks as she appears back at the table.

“Oh, you know, just talking about Maggie’s sex life,” Natya answers, as she swipes at the tears under her eyes.

“What sex life?” Gael asks dryly. “I don’t think she has even been with anyone since Chad, and we all know that was well over a year ago,” he continues, and inwardly, I cringe already knowing what’s coming next.

“Please tell me he’s joking!” Natya exclaims in outrage, her face scrunching up like someone just told her I kidnap babies and sell them on the black market. I mean, a year without sex is not that unheard of…right?

When I don’t respond, she must take my silence as answer enough, because she palms her face before turning to me with pity in her light brown eyes.

“Mags, honey, that is actually sad,” she says.

“Yeah, babe. You really need to get laid. And I mean a good lay. Because I seriously doubt that douchebag ex of yours even knows what a clit is, let alone where to find it. I don’t even sleep with women, and I’m sure I know more about female anatomy then he does.”

I spew water as I almost choke at his words. I mean—he’s not lying.

He really didn’t.

Chad was my first long term relationship, if you consider nine months long.

We had been together for about six months before we finally slept together for the first time. Of course, we had done other things, but…not that.

My first experience was—let’s just say not great, and it took a while before I felt comfortable being intimate in that way. He said he was fine with waiting, but as time went on, he got pushier.

He would make little snide comments, calling me a tease, even going so far as to questioning my loyalty and accusing me of cheating on him.

Eventually, he gave me an ultimatum: either I sleep with him, or he would find someone else who would. In hindsight, I can see it for the manipulation tactic that it was, but at the time I was young and naïve. I thought I was in love, and I didn’t want to lose him, so I gave in. I can’t say it was entirely bad, but it wasn’t good either.

In the end, it didn’t even matter, because a few months later, I found out he was already sleeping with someone else anyway. Of course, I broke it off once I found out.

When I heard he immediately started dating someone new, I’m not going to lie, I was crushed. Even though I didn’t want him anymore, knowing he moved on so quickly made me feel…sort of worthless. Disposable. Like, I never even mattered to him.

“Okay—so new mission. Find Maggie a man,” Susannah says, clapping her hands together with excitement, her eyes bright and a little glassy.How much has she had to drink?

“No, guys, trust me. I’m fine. Thanks though.” A man is honestly the last thing I need right now. Not only do I not have time to date—between my job and Jane, my free time is severely lacking—I have zero desire to open myself up that way to another person. In my experience, dating only leads to heartbreak and disappointment.

“If you’re sure…Ohh—I love this song. Who wants to dance?” Susannah says, throwing her hands up in the air before rushing off to the dance floor, Gael and Natya following behind her.

Natya looks back at me. “You coming?”

I shake my head. “No. I’m not really a dancer,” I say, standing. “Actually…I think I’m gonna head out.” Suddenly, my mood has turned sour, and all I want right now is a hot bath and my bed.

“By yourself?” she asks. I nod.

“You want me to come with you?” she offers, but I decline waving her off.

“No. I’m good. I’ll just call a ride share. You guys stay, have fun.” She looks as me questioningly.

“Are you sure? How much have you had to drink?” she asks in that momma bear voice of hers that makes me smile. Her fierce protectiveness is one of the things I love most about her, something we both have in common.

“Just the one daiquiri hours ago—promise.”

I give her a hug goodbye and only after reassuring her that I am 1. not drunk and 2. perfectly capable of walking myself to a cab does she finally relent and let me go.

I stand there watching the three of them as they laugh and dance with each other, envious of how wonderfully carefree and happy they are, confident in a way I could never be.

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