Page 68 of Ride By Your Side

“Well, maybe it was at first, but things have changed since then,” I argue, sitting up straight.

“Exactly. Things have changed, and I know that’s because I pushed for this, but I really think we need to be smart here and start thinking about protecting ourselves.”

“You don’t need protection from me,” I assure her, scooting to the edge of my seat, especially since I have no intention of being someone who could hurt her, not after witnessing all the pain she experienced from that douchebag Pete.

“I know I don’t.” She laughs with absolutely no hint of amusement. Opening the book in her hands, she turns to the page where she’d left off and tears it out. “It’s myself I need protection from. We both know I’ve never been known for my smart decision-making, and I think it’s time I finally start doing what I should, instead of what I want.”

“What makes you so sure this is a smart decision?” I ask, the desperation seeping through, but I can’t help it. If I had known those last few minutes would be the last time we got to act normal and be ourselves, I definitely would’ve gone about things differently.

“Believe me, when you’ve spent your entire life acting on impulse and ignoring the consequences until it’s too late, you start to get a sense of when things are going to work out and when they won’t. And with this being something I really don’t want to do, that’s exactly why I know I need to.”

“Look, Vee, I’m not going to force you into something you don’t want to do, but I’m not ready to call it quits. I want to keep exploring this. I want to see what can happen here.”

“Until when? You get bored of me, or go back to finding me annoying?”

“I wouldn’t—” I argue, but she holds up a hand to silence me.

“You don’t know that, nor can I let it happen. I promised Blair I wouldn’t let any of this affect our friendship, and if I let myself get hurt in all of this, that could change things, and not for the better.”

“Why do you keep saying that you’d get hurt? I have no plans to hurt you or let you hurt yourself. I’m just not ready to let this end,” I say as I stand up and take a step toward her. She once again holds out her hand and takes a step back.

“Believe me, Miles. This is for the best,” she tries to assure me before finally holding out the paper she ripped from the sketchbook.

My eyes flick between the paper and her, but my curiosity wins out as I reach out and take it. As I hold it up, I’m stunned to see a perfectly rendered portrait of myself. Every detail is spot-on. It’s so lifelike that, if I didn’t know it was a sketch, I’d swear it was a photo someone had snapped with their phone.

“This is amazing,” I tell her, truly meaning it.

“These days, you’re all I think about. Hell, all day, every day, all I can think about is that stupidly handsome face of yours,” she says, pointing toward me. “So, between classes, I started this sketch and finally took the time to finish it just now. But I’m starting to think I need something else to focus my time and energy on. I already left one unhealthy situation. I can’t let myself jump right back into another.”

My heart sinks. Is that really what this feels like to her? The last thing I ever want to be to anyone—especially her—is a source of pain. So, instead of voicing what I really feel and what I truly want, I swallow it down and nod. Maybe it is easier this way, even if every part of me is screaming to be honest with her.

“If this is really what you want and need, then that’s what we’ll do,” I give in, despite the fact that my brain is yelling at me to put a stop to this. Then again, maybe that’s my heart speaking, since usually my brain is a lot smarter than this.

“It is.” She sighs, her shoulders falling in the process.

With one final dejected breath, I hold the drawing back toward her.

“Keep it,” she directs, taking a step back as she taps the side of her forehead. “I already have the image seared right here,” she softly offers with a weak smile before walking out of the room.

I run a hand over my face, trying to process what just happened. Did I really let her walk away? Did I just let the one woman who’s truly made me feel something real and raw slip through my fingers? Then again, as much as I hate to admit it, maybe she’s right. Not only is she at risk of getting hurt by all of this, but so am I. That aching pain in my chest? It’s unmistakable, and for the first time, I think I’m fully experiencing what true heartbreak feels like.

39

Veronica

“Heyyou,”Icallout to Ford, beckoning him over as I wiggle my finger toward me. “It’s hammer time,” I joke, doing the famous dance. Thankfully he laughs at my lame attempt at a joke, even if he is shaking his head.

“So, where do you need me?” he asks.

“Right here. It’s the perfect spot,” I indicate, nodding toward one of Blair’s amazing photo masterpieces before pointing to the wall and the spot I’ve picked for it. It’s without a doubt, the best place for it to stand out and showcase just how bad ass of a photographer she is.

The three of us, well, four if you count Miles, have been working our asses off to get this place set up and running for Blair to have her grand opening tomorrow. However, I’ve done my best to avoid being around him, as we’ve both been working opposite shifts.

Not that he seems to mind, since it feels like we’ve both had the same goal—avoiding the apartment when the other is there.And if, for some reason we do both have to be there, we hide in our rooms, or at least that’s what I’ve been doing

Maybe we could have kept this charade going. We still have a few weeks left before our annulment is granted, but I just can’t do it. Letting myself fall for the wrong guy once was way too painful, and given how different things feel with Miles, and how much deeper the feelings go, it would truly devastate me. Hell, I’m already devastated, even if I’m doing a pretty good job of pretending like everything is fine.

“Okay, so how does this look?” Ford asks, stepping back from his work and tilting his head to the side.

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