Page 21 of Aisle Come Back to You

“Wait, what am I missing?” she presses.

I cave. “Alright, well maybe there is more to the story of why I cut myself off from talking to Ford. I may have confessed my real feelings for him only moments before he walked down the aisle, and I may have also begged him to pick me and not marry Jenny.”

The fry that had been on its way to Ronnie’s mouth hangs suspended in midair, her lips frozen in surprise. “Wait, what?” she finally manages.

I cover my face and shake my head. “Ugh, I know. I’m the worst.”

“I might have to agree, but only because you didn’t tell me,” she cries, lifting off her seat as she moves to swat my arm from across the table. “I knew there had to be more to why you were always making excuses and refusing to come home. I mean, I knew you were heartbroken after you truly had to give Ford up, but wow,” she utters, her mouth still open in awe.

“He told me he never told her, but still. I might not have ever been Jenny’s biggest fan, and while I feel somewhat validated in the fact that I was right about them not being a good fit, I’ve also always felt so guilty at the same time. I mean, who does that?”

No matter how hard I try, the memory of that moment continues to haunt me, still filling me with shame as my cheeks redden.

“Someone who wasn’t ready to let go, and I get it,” Ronnie comforts me, as this time she reaches out and places her hand on top of mine. “Everyone in this town knew there was something real between the two of you, and if I’m being honest, I truly always thought it would be you two walking down the aisle together that day. So no, it wasn’t your best move, but I also understand the reasoning behind it.”

“Well, I’m glad you do, because I’m still trying to figure out what on earth possessed me to think that was even remotely acceptable.”

“Hey, love makes us all do crazy and irrational things from time to time. While you may be Evergreen Grove’s favorite badass bitch, even you’re not immune.”

“Crazy and irrational make sense, what I did was absolutely insane,” I counter, pulling back my hand as I move to tear off a piece of my sandwich to dip in my soup.

“Maybe a little,” she agrees with a soft laugh. “But not as insane as you running off and following some boy on tour and never moving back home.”

“Hey, at least that one worked out in my favor,” I say before dropping the perfect gooey and cheesy bite into my mouth.

“Did it?” she counters, as I fight both the urge to groan and roll my eyes.

“Maybe not in the romantic sense, but I’ve gotten to travel the world and improve my skills as a photographer, so it’s not a total bust, right?”

Sure, it was hard to be away from my family and friends, but I’ll never regret the experiences that came from my impulsive decisions. Even more, there’s no way I would’ve gained the skills I now possess if I’d stayed. I’d fallen in love with photography when I’d taken some classes in high school, but even that was the bare minimum.

“But aren’t you lonely? I know you and Max have your little thing going on, but aren’t you ready to find your actual forever person? I’m sorry, and I know you guys have yourfun,but we both know you’ll never actually end up as Mrs. Fuckboy Rockstar.”

“You make it sound so easy,” I say, using my spoon to spin lazy circles in the red soup, while also doing my best to avoid hergaze. Unfortunately, I know she’s right. Max fulfills some of my needs, but not the ones that count.

“What if it was?”

I finally glance up, raising an eyebrow. “But it’s not. Maybe it was easy for you to find your person, but the rest of us aren’t so lucky.”

“Well, it’s certainly a lot easier when you’re not shutting yourself off from love and doing everything you can to run away and ignore what’s right in front of you.”

“And whatisright in front of me, huh?” I challenge.

Ronnie tilts her head downward, incredulously. “Come on, Blair. Don’t make me say what we both already know.”

“Sorry, Ron, but I think I need you to spell it out for me.” Okay, so maybe I know exactly what she’s saying, but like usual, it’s something that’s way too scary to say aloud and I’m definitely not going to be the first one to say it.

“Ford.”

I let out a loud sigh. “I can’t go there again. You know I can’t. Besides, these next couple of weeks are about you and your love life, not mine,” I say, doing everything I can to do exactly what she accused me of—running from this.

“Quit making excuses. We’re both allowed to be happy and think about our love lives this week. Even more, there’s nothing that would make me happier than for the two of you to finally figure your shit out.”

“There’s nothing to figure out,” I lie. “We had our chance ten years ago, and he chose her time and time again. I won’t go there. I can’t.”

Ronnie’s face flickers with concern, or perhaps it’s just pity. Either way, I can’t stand it. Like she said, I’ve always prided myself on being some ‘badass bitch’ who can brush things off, and while so much of that is an act, I despise the idea of people seeing past the mask.

“In his defense, I don’t think you can really count his wedding day against him. That was sort of last minute, and if anything, I think if he could go back in time and change things, he would.”

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