Page 16 of Aisle Come Back to You

This week and the next are about her; not me and my silly drama. While it may have felt so right in the moment, and while a huge part of me is disappointed that it hadn’t gone any further when it was just getting good, the overwhelming emotion I feel now is relief.

I can’t allow myself to go there, and as I slip out of the dress and into my plain black T-shirt and boyfriend jeans, I make myself a firm promise to never let a moment like that happen again, especially not with Ford Hastings.

9

Ford

Ihadn’t expected muchthis afternoon after I finally mustered the courage to send the text during my prep period, asking Blair to meet me for coffee after work. Honestly, I partially assumed it would be a repeat of the past two years where she’s ghosted me on every single call or text.

Clearly, I’d panicked for nothing, but can you really blame me for worrying, especially after yesterday? It’d be pretty easy to assume I’d somehow ruined our friendship all over again. It feels like my specialty these days.

She doesn’t trust me, and I get it. Given the circumstances in high school, it always felt like we were caught in a never-ending cycle of bad timing and uncertain feelings. Whenever she was single, Jenny and I were together, and whenever we had one of our occasional break-ups, Blair was taken.

The final nail in the coffin seemed to be when Jenny showed up on our senior trip to the Rocky Mountain Meltdown Music Festival just after Blair and I had finally shared our first kiss.I’d desperately wanted to confess my feelings and tell her it was her I wanted, but she distanced herself and devoted most of her attention to Max, whom she met the first day of the music festival.

Meanwhile, Jenny was constantly by my side, trying to win me back. Eventually, I gave in. If Blair wanted somebody else, I wasn’t going to stop her. Making something happen shouldn’t be that hard, or so I naively let myself believe. I was tired of fighting for something she didn’t seem to want. It was painfully exhausting, and something I could no longer do to myself, or to Blair. It wasn’t fair to put pressure on her when I was so sure she was no longerthe one.

There was even a part of me that’d wanted to run away with Blair after her confession on my wedding day. I wanted to give myself permission to be with the woman I’d always wanted and been in love with, but I just hadn’t been brave enough to do it. Not only could I not do that to Jenny, our friends, and family, but it also didn’t feel fair to Blair. She shouldn’t have had to be the woman who asked a guy to choose her. The man who truly deserved her would always make her his first priority, and given how long I’d waited, that no longer felt like me. I wasn’t worthy of being with someone as perfect as Blair.

When she’d arrived back in town the other day, and I’d found out she and Max had broken up, a part of me selfishly wanted this to be our moment, but I also don’t want anyone, especially Blair, to get the wrong idea.

I’m sure people would assume she’s just the rebound woman, or say it’s too soon and that I’m not ready to move on, and maybe I wouldn’t be for anybody else, but this is Blair. She’s the person I’ve secretly been in love with since the sixth grade.

Even worse, I feel like a creep who took advantage of her in the dressing room. In the moment, sure, it felt like she was just as into it as I was, but I don’t want her thinking that’s all I wantfrom her, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. With Blair Bennett, I want everything.

Either way, I felt a rush of relief when she immediately replied, agreeing to meet. Getting together in person gives me the chance to apologize, but there’s an even more important and pressing reason we need to meet—Ronnie.

Walking inside The Steamy Bean, I’m not surprised that Blair isn’t here. While we joked about Blair always being late at the barbecue the other night, it tends to ring true.

Approaching the counter, I order my typical black Americano and their signature pecan muffin.

“Is that everything?” Buddy, the barista, and the owner’s son, asks.

I hesitate. I know Blair’s usual order, and while it was unchanged throughout our teenage years and into adulthood on her occasional trip home, I get that it’s been two years. There’s always a chance she’s changed and might want something different now.

After yesterday, do I really want to cause any waves or overstep? Then again, it’s a fucking cup of coffee. Is it really that big of a deal?

“No, I’ll also get an iced caramel macchiato and throw in one of those white chocolate chip raspberry muffins.” If she doesn’t want it, that’s fine, but at least I’ll have made the effort.

“Jenny trying something new?” Buddy asks as my stomach sinks. Of course, he’s used to me ordering Jenny something, too, especially since this is my go-to stop after work. However, since our separation, I’ve only been picking up my order, but I can’t imagine he’d be all that surprised if I started doing it again.

While I know there have been some rumors about Jenny and me, the gossip train strangely hasn’t seemed to reach The Steamy Bean, something I’m more than grateful for, but I’m pretty sure that won’t last long after today.

“No, this drink is for an old friend,” I explain as he nods in response, thankfully not seeming to read too much into it.

“Gotcha, well just give me a few minutes and I’ll call out your order.”

I thank him just as the door opens. I don’t even have to turn my head to know it’s Blair. My body seems to sense it and know all on its own.

“Hey.” She smiles, greeting me with a small wave. “Have you ordered yet?”

“Yep. I got you something too. He just started, so if you don’t still drink iced caramel macchiatos, we might be able to stop him before he gets to it,” I suggest, glancing toward Buddy, who thankfully seems to have only started on mine.

Her lips curve into a gradual smile. “A caramel macchiato is perfect. Did you also order the…”

“The white chocolate chip raspberry muffin? Of course.”

Some things may have changed, but luckily, the fact that The Steamy Bean still has the best homemade muffins luckily hasn’t, and I already knew she’d be dying to eat as many as she can during her stay in town.

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