Page 54 of Our Hearts Knew Better

My giddiness fell back into nerves the more hours went by that I didn’t see or hear from Levi.

Adam wanted to hang out, but he couldn’t that first day back because he and his dad—not by my choice, he complained—had to take care of some house and work stuff—one more year of playinghisgame, he stressed—from being away for weeks.

We met up at the beach part of the bay and sat near the water. I dipped my toes in as he told me everything about his trip he hadn’t told me through texts. He watched me a lot, grinning under the cap of his hat, taking me in again under the sun, and I laughed when he joked he was going to miss knowing a vampire.

But my amusement only jolted my jitters away for a few seconds, and I had to ask about Levi.

“He’s just busy,” Adam told me, no worry in his tone to next tell me not to. “Gets that way before the start of a new school year. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“He didn’t tell me that,” I muttered to the sea.

Adam scoffed out a laugh. “He’s hard to distract. Gets inside his head.”

Nowworrying would’ve been easier not to do if I wasn’t something potentially in his thoughts. His potential second thoughts. I could understand him not wanting to have the conversation about us in front of his dad, and when we’djusthad our first kiss, but we were off the boat now.

I’d been inside Levi’s head as he’d been inside mine, and I’d never felt almost…shut out like I did now. It’d only been a day,but wekissed. I called him my boyfriend and now he wasn’t calling me at all.

Was he really just busy?

“Has he talked to you about why? Why he’s in his head?” I held my breath, my lungs aching when Adam’s puckered mouth and shaking head released it.

I dug my toes into the sand. So Levi hadn’t saidanythingabout yesterday. Because he was busy? Was he waiting on me? I’d been ready since we happened.

And we needed to tell Adam. He’d still been flirting and we couldn’t blur the line that was there anymore.

But this was going nowhere, so I told myself to stay in another present moment.

Until that same night, I had to get back out of the house, out of the waiting state, on the search, knowing with everything that connected us, I’d find Levi.

He was at the bridge, beside his bike, tapping on the screen of his phone.

I felt the thrill in my heart at the sight of him, then the settling of my breaths as I was assured he wanted to be found by the vibration in my pocket. I probably tore a hole in my shorts trying to get to his text.

Hey. Are you around?

I smiled as I answered,I’m right here, approaching him quietly to see the first reaction on his face before he saw me, to have my expectations affirmed, to have another assurance. For him to restart this new lapse in my breathing.

As soon as he looked up, his eyes lit up and he smiled, too, so immediate and shining away all my questioning darkness.

My heart leaped so fiercely my body followed, right into his arms as heoofed and caught me. His laugh blew my hair, and I loosened my hold some when I realized I was probably crushing him. But I still held on like I couldn’t let go, the uncertainty I’dstewed in since after he kissed me locking my arms, pulling at my nature to lean into the possibility of loss even as that wasn’t possible here. Not with him. He was busy and with me now.

“What are we doing tonight?” I asked him when I finally pulled back, blowing out a laugh of my own. My hand fit into his like a puzzle piece as I hoped for more kissing and plans for tomorrow, wanting him to steer us back there.

“I…” He swallowed. “I was thinking.”

I stepped closer, the tip of my shoe pressed into his. “About you and me?”

A storm clouded Levi’s eyes as they held mine, edging in my own darkness again.

He dropped my hand.

No, mine slipped. It was hot out.

I took it back quickly so he didn’t think I didn’t want to hold his hand, that I didn’t want an us.

He dropped my hand again.

He. Dropped. My. Hand.

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