Page 113 of Our Hearts Knew Better

I never could. It was always hard.

“I can’t do this,” I say to his neck, catching a twitch in his muscles, before trailing up his now set jaw to the most intense scrutiny in his eyes. His brows slowly bend in with the realization of what I’m actually telling him.

I can’t be his friend when I want to be his.

“I’m tired,” I tell him next, finally saying those words myself. I start past him. “Let’s just go.”

“Summer—”

I stop, but keep my focus toward the exit. “I’mtired, Levi.”

And it’s him and it’s me and it’s Adam and it’s this beating down life.

And right now, it’s mostly the way Levi’s looking at me, when I dare a peek back, like he can’t let me go.

But he did let me go.

My lungs seize as I try to pull in breaths on my next shoves through people toward the exit, right as the band transitions into “Blue Lullaby”.

It’s my favorite song and I’m missing it live.

But I can’t turn back to the stormy blue eyes waiting for me, an old heartbreak feeling like new.

If I could let anyone take Kai Coleman from me, it would be Levi.

And, this time, he does.

Hear Me Break

Summer

The ride back to Rosalee Bay felt much longer, the sun almost set by the hour Levi pulls over at the curb right outside Griffin’s house.

Tension has been steaming thick between us with everything unspoken, and not even the air conditioning can cool us off.

The engine rumbles through our pulsed silence as he…waits for me to climb out? Waits for me to go inside that house, back to being slurred over? Loneliness? Exhaustion? Pain?

Am I going back to that?

I have pieces of that right here in this truck.

“You talked about me with Bonny?” I finally manage to ask, my voice sounding like gravel from the strain of swallowing tears this whole trip back, seeking reasons for why they’re still within me that I can only get from him.

He makes a noise in his throat like he doesn’t want me to hear his own strain. “I talked about you with everyone,” he admits, then sighs, and that’s exactly how I take it; an admittance forwhyhis relationships weren’t serious.

Me. Fuckingme.

“I think I might hate you forever for making me miss ‘Blue Lullaby’,” I lie with a scoff, because I want to tell him I hate him. But I only wish I could.

Why can’t I just hate him?

Why can’t I just hate both of them?

A rush of wind blows through the trees, some gray clouds mixing with the fading sunlight, and I stare up at them as the storm starts in me.

“This should be my life, shouldn’t it?” I ask, having that answer myself, already rooted to my soul. “Here.You and me.”

Levi’s only response is a ragged shift of his breathing.

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