Page 14 of Hang on St. Christopher

“Paperwork mostly. Admin and traffic.”

“And what about you, McCrabban?”

“Same thing. Part-timer until I get my pension.”

“Jesus Christ, the pair of you. If you’re not detectives in this organization, you’re nothing. I know you have your farm, Crabbie, but I’m amazed at you, Sean. This was your life.”

“Used to be, mate. It was my choice. Beth and I moved to Scotland and?—”

“The one that looks like a boy?”

“She has a certain boyish grace admittedly, but she’s all?—”

“Did you marry her?”

“Not yet, I?—”

“Wise man. If you do a background check on her, I’ll bet you find she wasn’t born a woman. Smart move on your part, if you ask me. Won’t be able to get her pregnant and have her tie you down.”

“We have a little girl.”

“Aye, well, wonders of medical science, eh?”

“How come it takes only thirty seconds of convo with you before everybody wants to punch you in the fucking face, Frank?”

“I have a talent for shithousery,” he said.

“And how’s your misssus by the way?” I asked.

“You know she left me, Sean.”

“That’s right and she sends her best,” I said.

Frank grinned and suddenly slapped me on the back. “God, man, it’s good to see you. Part-time reserve or no, it’s nice to be dealing with a real peeler for a change!”

“Sergeant Lawson is a real?—”

“Sergeant Lawson is too big for his bloody boots, and everyone else around these parts is a joke. Don’t get me started on Newtownabbey RUC or Larne RUC. I’m swimming in a sea of septic incompetence, Duffy.”

“Well, at least you’ve got the buoyancy for it, mate.”

“Fat jokes are beneath you, Duffy. You’ll be doing ‘your mother’ gags next.”

“Uhm, wait a minute, I have one: your mother is so classless, I mistook her for a Marxist utopia... No? Anybody?”

Frank sighed. Crabbie stared at his boots.

“So I suppose Lawson is on his holidays?” Frank said.

“Nothing escapes you, mate. He’s in Tenerife.”

“Tenerife? Bloody hell, who goes there?”

“Everyone, apparently.”

Frank nodded. “Well, you’re lucky or, I suppose,unluckyif you were hoping for a week’s overtime. Straightforward business. They wanted this bloke’s car. He didn’t want to give them his car. They shot him and took the car. Have you heard the term ‘carjacking’?”

“Yes.”

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