Page 70 of Bane of the Wild Hunt

“She is a… photographer,” he said, the foreign word sounding rather blunt and strange on his tongue. “It is a person who makes portraits with a tool called a camera. They can capture any moment instantly and perfectly with this device. Honestly, I cannot explain it. But she would spend hours setting up scenes for it and make these tiny portraits of birds and other animals. She loved it and her passion is a contagious thing,” he reassuredme with another sweet smile. “She was desperate to make me the subject of these portraits and… I was so alone. She was the only other creature in that world who genuinely just wanted to be close to me. And once she was, once she had come to know me not as a subject of interest but a friend, she stopped taking my portrait. All she wanted then was my company, and I think… She may be the only person I have ever known, besides you, who has found such a simple joy in my presence. She does not want or need anything more from me. Just…me,” he admitted.

“Riordan—” I began to console him automatically.

“You are above trying to coddle me, Orion, so do not,” he forbade me. “I have always known that I am little more than a tool for the kingdom. Much as I might have always hated it, I have never turned from that duty,” he insisted.

“But you couldn’t even communicate with her, so how could you feel so connected?” I demanded. As connected as he felt withme, evidently, which only increased my sense of displacement and jealousy.

“Words are not the only way to communicate. She was able to use hers, and I used my body the way all griffins do when they are unbonded,” he pointed out.

I turned my head away from him so he could not see my frustration when I could not think of a response.

“The vampires that followed Jade were a gang called the Dominus,” he continued. “To cross them would be like crossing the Feallfola,” Riordan told me, referring to a tribe of ogres that were notoriously cruel and vindictive. And I understood right away what he meant.

“A death sentence,” I acknowledged with a nod.

“One of them had been watching me and knew Amira could get close. He ordered her to help him catch me or face the consequences,” Riordan revealed.

If these Dominus vampires were like the Feallfola, then I knew the consequences of her refusal would have meant imprisonment and torture and lifelong slavery.

“She killed him,” Riordan advised me quite proudly. “Rather than hand me over, she risked her own safety and freedom to protect me. And that was when I knew for sure that she was who I had been waiting for. I made a vow to myself that I would protect her until she could work out how to break my curse.”

I did not speak. I did not want to acknowledge it, but I could not help feeling just a hint of grudging appreciation for the witch after his disclosures. She had saved his life, not just the one time but several times, and there was no denying that in doing so, she had also saved mine.

“The more time I spent with her after that, the more of my heart she began to take. I know you think she is weak and naive because she is not a griffin, but she is so powerful in her own way. You think she is untrustworthy because she is a witch, but she has proven kind and brave and selfless,” he praised the witch until my jaw began to ache from clenching my teeth so hard.

It did not matter how much I appreciated what the witch had done. I hated to hear him speak well ofanyone. He had been mine and mine alone for so long.

“Even if all of that is true, she still does not know our ways well enough to be the consort of a king.”

“She can learn those things, but her kindness, bravery, and selflessness are not qualities that could be taught,” Riordan insisted calmly. “And besides, I am not choosing her merely as a king, but also as a man who is enraptured wholly by her,” Riordan said, voice deepening in earnest.

“Which does not seem to have been enough for her to choose you back!” I snapped, succumbing to the anguish when his words twisted the dagger deeper in my heart. “You will lose yourkingdom over her before you can even fully take it. Is she really worth all that, Riordan?”

The moment the words were out of my mouth, I knew that I had gone too far, but there was no taking it back. Not with all this emotion festering so uncontrollably.

Riordan looked as if I had struck him. The stunned silence in which he stared at me as if I were someone he did not know weighed on me heavily.

“I… should not have—”

“You always professed to care for me. To want what was best formebefore anyone else. It is why I chose you to be my guardian so that I may be the guardian for so many others,” he advised me.

“Idocare—” I hissed.

“You donot,” he asserted furiously, his voice growing louder in his disappointment, and then he turned as if he would walk away.

My heart plunged into my stomach. It had been many decades of companionship since he walked away during a disagreement, but thankfully, he stopped. He hesitated as he seemed to reflect on our conversation a moment before turning to look at me again as if in confusion.

“I know I am not above reproach. I do not presume to know everything. Nor do I resent the necessity of keeping my mind open in the event that I am proven wrong. But Idotrust myself to know what is good for me. I trusted my choice of you, and in spite of your evident determination to break my heart now, I trust it still. So tell me the truth, Orion. Why do you hate her?” he demanded.

“I do not mean to hurt you,” I murmured, balking in the face of such unapologetic denunciation.

“Yet you persist, so tell me why,” he commanded.

I debated whether to take advantage of his profession of trust and try to make him understand that I truly had his best interest at heart. Or to obey the sinking feeling in my gut that warned me not to abuse his trust.

I looked at him, my precious friend whom I had loved so fiercely in complete silence for so long. I tried my best to conceptualize the future he wanted in which I would stand by and watch him love someone else. A future in which I would have to watch him give all of himself to someone else. I tried desperately to reconcile my anguish in such a fate with their happiness and simply could not do it. My chest felt like it was collapsing, and I couldn’t draw breath. I felt sick with heartache at the thought of a world in which I was not his and he was not mine.

Helena had tried to warn me about this when I agreed to become Riordan’sskiá, but I had been driven by this same jealous and possessive love for him. I could not allow anyone else to have him then, and I just could not bear the thought of sharing him with anyone now.

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