Page 67 of Out of the Shadows

He wasn’t lying. He was still riding high from his orgasm and wasn’t feeling any pain.

For the next couple of minutes, they worked together to remove his bandage. He’d popped two stitches, but it wasn’t bad. As he walked her through applying a butterfly bandage, he noticed her eyelids getting heavy. She wrapped a new bandage over his shoulder and yawned.

She gathered the first aid supplies and went back into the bathroom. “I may have to take a rain check on round two. I think you wrecked me.”

Gavin shifted, swinging his legs onto the bed. He pulled the duvet over his lap and froze. His heart hammered in his chest, and ice filled his veins. Holy shit, what the hell was he doing? He couldn’t spend the night with her in the same bed.

His breath locked in his chest as Bean reentered the bedroom. His limbs were leaden, but he watched as she made her way to the other side of his bed. Pulling the covers down, she paused and tilted her head to the side in concern. “Is the tape bothering you? Did I make it too tight?”

Fucking hell, he couldn’t do this. No matter how much he wanted to crawl into bed, pull Bean into his arms, and go the fuck to sleep, he couldn’t. It wasn’t an option.

Images from years ago bombarded his brain. A blond woman. Chelsea. He couldn’t remember her last name, wasn’t even sure she’d ever told him what it was. They’d both been out looking for a good time. Nothing more. But that night was seared into his brain. He’d never forgotten the panic and terror in her brown eyes. How her mouth had hung open in a silent scream as she’d clawed at his wrists. How she’d drawn blood on the backs of his hands.

Hands that he’d wrapped around her throat . . .

Bile turned his stomach, and he pressed his lips together. A sheen of sweat broke out over his skin. He hadn’t shared abed with a woman since that horrific night. And he couldn’t now. It wasn’t safe.

Bean meant too much.

“You okay?” she asked, meeting his gaze.

Whatever she saw when she looked at him had a flicker of disappointment crossing her face.Shit! He was fucking this all up.

She dropped the edge of the duvet and gestured to the bedroom door. “You know what, I think I’ll get out of your hair.” She smiled, and his stomach sank. It was one of her fake, polished smiles. “I have some stuff I have to do in the morning, so I’ll just see you at the office tomorrow.”

He wanted to reach for her, to grab her by the waist and haul her back to him. Wanted to cuddle her naked body close and sleep peacefully with her. Then wake her in the middle of the night and sink deep into her again.

Instead, he sat there frozen.

Unable to move.

Unable to say a fucking thing.

Not because he didn’t want her to stay, but because he didn’t trust himself.

She turned and glanced around. Frowning, she yanked open his dresser drawers, grabbed one of his T-shirts, and pulled it over her head. The tension in the silent room threatened to suffocate him. When she reached his bedroom door, she turned back with that damn society smile on her face. Her shoulders were ramrod straight, and her head was held high. But she didn’t meet his gaze. Instead, her attention was focused on his shoulder.

“I’m taking your car, and I’ll reengage your alarm when I head out.” She turned but then hesitated and looked over her shoulder at him. “You going to be okay tonight?”

His stomach twisted. He was a motherfucking asshole.

Nodding, he shifted and winced at both the pull in hisshoulder and at his own stupidity. But no matter how much he willed himself to say something, he couldn’t get his mouth to form the words, couldn’t ask her to stay.

She opened his bedroom door, and panic surged through him, flooding every one of his senses. “Wait!”

She stilled but didn’t turn around.

Seconds earlier, he’d been rendered mute. Now, fear had words spewing from his mouth. “Holy shit, Bean, I’m so fucking sorry. I want to ask you to stay, but I don’t think... I don’t know...”

She finally turned to face him and it was like a kick to the gut. Disappointment, sadness, and resignation all swirled in her blue eyes. With a tight smile, she nodded. “It’s fine, Frazier. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He scrambled out of the bed but remained standing at its edge, afraid to get too close to her, afraid she’d push him away, afraid she wouldn’t. “I’m sorry. I’m fucking this all up. It’s not you, I swear.” The look of abject disbelief she gave him had him rushing on. “I swear to God, it’s me. It’s...” Letting out a frustrated growl, he rubbed his hands over his face. Dropping his arms to his sides, he met her gaze. The wariness staring back at him had determination surging through him. He had to get this right, dammit. “I’m a fucking idiot. When you went to get into bed with me, I froze.” He waved at the rumpled bed behind him. “I couldn’t fucking move. I haven’t slept with anyone in years?—”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Frazier.” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest. “If you’re going to lie to me, at least make it believable.”

“I’m serious. Yes, I’ve had sex with women, but it’s been a long time since I’vesleptwith someone. But you...”

Her brow arched in challenge, and she scoffed. “I’m what?Different?”

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