Page 91 of The Usual Family Mayhem

Gram nodded. “Falling asleep right after as if only his pleasure mattered.”

The images that ran through my head would take years to forget. “I’m begging you to stop the conversation there. No details.”

“What did we always tell you?” Gram brought out her angry nun tone.

We weren’t Catholic but I’d watched television and assumed this was how they sounded. Theyourtime is upedge to Gram’s tone left little room for me to maneuver.

I gave in because they weren’t going to move from those chairs until I did. They’d spent hours giving me the sex talk all those years ago. This was not how I intended to use the information, but it was shaping up to be that kind of day. “You said if I wasn’t mature enough to talk about sex I shouldn’t be having it.”

Gram nodded. “And?”

There was a lot more, but this was the main point. “Always have safe sex. Don’t depend on the man and his promises. It’s your body.”

“Exactly.”

“Kasey.” Celia’s approach was calmer and less confrontational. “We know this is private and none of our business.”

If true, they were hiding it well. “Do you?”

“We’ve noticed on this trip home that you might...” Celiaadded to the drama by drawing this out. “Have feelings for Jackson.”

Gram snorted. “Wearing his robe after spending the night together confirmed that.”

Honestly...

“We love Jackson,” Celia said.

Here it comes.I braced. “But?”

“That’s it.” Celia spread a thick layer of jam on the nearest scone. “We love both of you. If you have feelings for each other, we’re happy for you.”

“Really?” Could it be that simple? No concerns about how different we were or how we fought and snipped at each other growing up... and sometimes now. How he was a big-time lawyer and I was whatever the opposite of that was.

“Really,” Gram said. “Although living so far away is a problem.”

There it was. Gram’s practical side had popped out. I appreciated the way she set out the problem. I knew better than anyone how confusing and potentially messy a relationship with Jackson could be. Unfortunately, we had more than one barrier to clear. “That’s only the beginning. I’m not sure I’m his type. Our lives are very interconnected, so what happens if this goes sideways? And Harlan. Enough said on that last one.”

Gram shook her head the second I said his name. “Only the last one is a problem. A big toad of a problem.”

She wasn’t wrong. The comment made me think about Savannah, Jackson’s mom. She’d married Harlan and stayed with him for years. I remembered her hugs. She wore this ever-present smile. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized her sunny disposition was a mask she wore to survive each day.

Pain and depression from a life spent dealing with repeatedbouts of cancer and devastating test results. I blamed Harlan for the rest. His coldness. His dismissal. His inability to keep his pants on. His lack of empathy. “Was he always like this? Like, Savannah met him and was allhe’s the one for me? That’s so hard to imagine.”

Celia hesitated for long enough that it looked like she might not answer. “We grew up in a religiously strict and insular household. We never had friends over. We weren’t allowed to participate in activities or on teams. No dating. No television. Our lives consisted of home and church and little else.”

Celia hadn’t grown up in a cult. Not exactly but close. I researched the church when Celia mentioned it years ago. The rules left no room for imagination or questions.

“My parents ran a hardware store. Harlan came in and announced he now owned the property and was their landlord. He was charming and handsome. He said the right things.” Celia sounded sadder as her explanation went on. “I think Savannah saw a way out of a life she hated.”

Gram’s hand disappeared under the table, and I knew it was on Celia’s knee. Gram, so outspoken and fierce, had few weaknesses but Celia was one of them.

“It’s not an unusual story. It mirrors mine. I married because I wanted a child. Mags married to get away from her father. Sometimes escaping leads to a new kind of hell.” Celia looked lost in her vivid memories. “We didn’t think we had a lot of options, which is part of the reason we made sure you did.”

“We’re hoping you break the cycle of the women who came before you. To do that you need to find your way,” Gram said.

Celia nodded. “We’re here for you.”

I agreed but thinking about all of this right now felt like toomuch, so I tried to lighten the mood. “You still haven’t told me what you think I should be when I grow up.”

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