Page 98 of The Pretender

He looked around the table, thinking if he focused on the others he could bully his way through this. But no.

This was why he stayed detached. Getting involved, caring, was a one-way ticket to hell. He’d been miserable every fucking minute since they’d been apart. He’d have to restart the process all over again after this.

God, why did she have to be here? He never thought she’d show up. She didn’t care about the island or the money. Until recently, she had been locked in a battle with Stephen over every curtain and every cup. It looked as if that rift might be at the start of a repair.

“You have my report.” Even he heard the small shake in his voice as he spoke.

Stephen looked up. “Excuse me?”

“The information is in front of you. I won’t insult you by reading it to you.” When Harris realized he was shifting his weight and moving around, he stopped.

“We asked you to come here prepared to—”

“Everything you need is right there.” That was all he had. His energy expired. He had to get out of there. “You can call my office if you have any questions.”

He would give anything to convince her of what happened more than fifteen months ago. He ached to win her back, but this wasn’t even about that. She deserved closure and he would beg and plead to give it to her... to possibly get one more chance.

He’d picked up the phone so many times to call and never did. Giving her space seemed like the right response even though the days ticked by in agony. The pressure in his chest, the kicking in his gut. He’d never felt that kind of numbing pain before.

The worst? She hated him. Her anger thrummed off her. Tightened every muscle. She didn’t deserve to have him hash it out between them with everyone watching. He owed her the chance to punch him, scream at him.

But he couldn’t handle sitting there and not talking to her, not trying, so he walked out. Voices called his name but he didn’t stick around to debate his position. This likely would end with the loss of his job but he didn’t care. He’d find something else to do, or maybe he wouldn’t do anything. It would be good for him to travel with all that temptation right in front of him and not take anything.

If he really was going to be a better man, and that was the vow he’d made as he left that island on the boat that day, then he needed to be better when it was hard to do so.

Phones rang as he walked back down the hall of glass-walled offices. Another person called out his name, but he ignored that, too. His goal was simple: get to the elevator bank. He’d almost done it. He stepped into the waiting room and pushed the lobby door to the outside hall. Once there, he let his body relax.

At the elevator bank across from the office doors he pushed the down button. It lit and now he waited. With a hand balanced against the wall. He dropped his head and tried to inhale. He forced his breathing to slow before his heart hammered out of his chest.

“That was quite a display.”

Gabby’s voice had him dropping his arm and spinning around to face her. “Why are you out here?”

“You look terrible.”

This close he could see the dark circles under her eyes. They mirrored his. “I’m sure because I feel like shit.”

“Lying will do that to a guy.”

The chance waited right there... and he took it. Didn’t pretty up the words or downplay his behavior. Not this time. Not when he’d been conning her from the beginning.

“I’ve lied my whole life. To everyone, about everything. Whatever it took. None of that bothered me until you came along.” The elevator bell dinged and the doors opened, but he didn’t get in.

“Is this your way of telling me I’m special?”

He didn’t have anything to lose, so he didn’t hold back. The words ripped out of him. “You are.”

“See, that’s the problem. I can’t tell what’s real and what’s a game with you.” She shook her head. “I want to believe you but—”

“I fell in love with you.” He held his arms out to the sides then let them fall again. “God, Gabby. Can you really not see that?”

“Love?”

“Yes, love.” Pain raced through him, leaving his muscles shaking. “There it is. Me, the guy who didn’t care about anyone except this specific group of guys I’ve known for fifteen years. The guy who didn’t get involved and could always walk away. I fell hard. For you.”

“I’m supposed to believe you care about anyone?”

He didn’t deserve to have this go easy, but to finally tell the truth and have her shoot it back to him with sarcasm... He rubbed the aching spot on his chest. “I’m trying to explain.”

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