Page 93 of A Dance of Shadows

“We will,” I say mildly. “But there are months to go yet. The right name may come to us without even pondering the matter.”

Marc’s attention lingers on me more intently than it has since we left Rodrige a few days ago. During our carriage rides, he’s mostly been absorbed in his usual reading and plan-making other than bits of friendly conversation here and there.

The affection shining in his eyes sends an uneasy tingle over my skin.

He’s taken my remark about my preferences in the bedroom to heart. Now that my shoulder only twinges when I stretch it, he’s invited himself to my chambers twice—thankfully both attimes when I could nick him with my ring without worrying that it’d look odd for him to doze off.

If he gets it into his head to start a seduction in the carriage, I’m not going to have that escape. I can’t say his kisses and caresses have been outrightunpleasantthe way his twin’s so often are, but to have this man who’s tormented me in the past so close… To accept him into my body without tensing up…

Gods willing, I’ll never have to navigate that problem.

To my relief, he simply leans back against the cushioned wall and folds his hands on his lap. “You know, I think it’s your turn to do the educating.”

I blink, my mind taking a second to catch up. “How do you mean?”

“We’re heading into your home country now. I’ve never visited the wilds of Accasy. Getting to Costel is going to take another couple of weeks, but you could start laying out everything it might be useful for me to know now.”

So he can mention my insights to Linus and consign my kingdom to an even more dire fate than his twin already intends?

As I grapple with what to say, Marc’s voice softens. “Why don’t you start with what you like most about the country? As well as you’ve made a place for yourself in Dariu, I can’t imagine you were eager to leave every part of your home behind.”

I wasn’t eager to leave any of it behind, but I can’t say that.

A lump rises in my throat at the gentleness of his words. How much of that compassion is real?

I still can’t tell how much he truly cares and how much he’s simply cajoling me so I’ll be more agreeable later.

He did ask, though, and my answer to his question shouldn’t lay the groundwork for any harmful schemes. Let’s see what I can say that might stir more admiration.

I let my mind drift into my memories of my last months in our palace in Costel, the comforts I turned to while we waited for the imperial representative to arrive to evaluate me and then for the emperor’s response.

“Itiswild. There are dense forests around all the cities and towns, and the mountains to the south and east. Even in the capital, the surrounding hills have plenty of cliffs and crags.”

“It sounds formidable,” Marc says. “But you like that.”

I clasp my hands together in front of me. “Yes. One of the main philosophies in Accasy is that the elements that bring danger into our lives also work in our favor if we understand them. The trees offer wood for building and burning. Climbing the hills may be treacherous if you’re ill-prepared, but they shelter our city from the worst of the winter storms. There’s a beauty to wildness when you align yourself with it rather than resisting.”

Marc cocks his head. “I suppose that’s not something we’ve had to think about much in Dariu, as temperate and moderate as the climate and terrain tend to be. I wouldn’t take you for much of a mountain climber, though.”

I can’t hold back a laugh. “Well, no. But I have always enjoyed roaming through the forests and the gentler inclines near the palace. There’s also a sense of peace and a clearing of the mind that comes with the overwhelming presence of the natural world.”

“Were you often off on your own, then?”

“I wouldn’t say that. Only when it suited me. I’m close with my family, and I have good friends in the court. We always had some project in the city or elsewhere in the country to occupy us.”

I expect him to pry for more details about my dynamic with my parents or their approach to ruling. Perhaps that’s going tocome later. For now, he simply says, “You must have missed them these past months.”

The lump in my throat expands. I’ve let myself think of what I left behind less and less the longer I’ve remained amid the Darium court. Wallowing in homesickness would only make my situation harder to bear. And I’ve found new joys with the men I’ve fallen for.

My husband’s statement isn’t wrong, though.

He likes me strong, but my moments of vulnerability have brought out his protective instincts. I keep my voice mild but allow a little sadness to color it. “Of course. But I’ve started to make new friends, and I have you. It isn’t as if I was unprepared. I grew up knowing that I’d leave to join whoever my husband turned out to be.”

There’s so much fondness in Marc’s smile that my heart aches at the thought of what this marriage could have been, if he weren’t so many thingsotherthan fond. “I’m glad you’ve settled in with us so well, but I look forward to hearing more about—and meeting—the people who mattered to you before.”

I’m not sure I’ve ever told a greater lie than, “So do I.”

Gods help us all once the emperor arrives in Accasy.

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