Page 26 of A Dance of Shadows

I don’t know whether it’d be worse for her to see me as a tool or an even more epic failure. If I refused to be the former, she’d probably see me as a failure either way.

She remains standing, gazing down at me in my seat on the other side of the table. The shifting light of the fire draws harsher lines across her aging features. Did quite so many crow’s feet mark the corner of her eyes and mouth the last time I was here?

“Did you know what the emperor had planned?” she asks in the cool, hard voice I’m very familiar with. “A little warning would have been appreciated.”

Flanking her a couple of steps back, both my father and my older sister stir on their feet. Leonor frowns. “Mother, you know he can’t go against Marclinus without?—”

I interrupt her defense with an emphatic shake of my head. This answer, at least, I can give easily enough.

I add to it with one of the small papers stacked in front of me, scrawling across it in pencil.I had no idea until he announced his demands.

Mother contemplates the message for a few seconds. At her nod of acknowledgment, I toss the paper into the brazier. In an instant, it’s curled into ashes.

She crosses her arms over her chest, but it’s worry rather than anger that thickens her tone. “All right. Let’s hear what else you can tell us about his plans for the rest of his stay here, the new empress, and anything else that might be useful.”

As I reach for another paper, I gather myself. I’ve contributed to Aurelia’s cause in fragments here and there across the past two days, conjuring voices among the revelers in the city squares speaking her praises, adding a faint divine glow to her a few rare times when she’s been far enough away from Marclinus that his guards won’t notice the magic.

None of my efforts will make the slightest difference in the long run if I can’t convince the people I know best, the people with the closest thing to real power in Rione, that she’s on our side.

I adjust my fingers around the pencil and begin my careful scrawl.Not aware of any other plans Marclinus has besides celebrating. He has been tending toward aggression since he took the throne.

Once my parents and sister have read that note, I toss it into the flames too. Then I reach for another paper.

I think you could find Aurelia a valuable ally. She understands what it’s like to live in a subservient kingdom. I’ve seen her do her best to moderate Marclinus’s violence.

At that message, Mother’s lips twist. She waves the paper toward the brazier. “She accepted the marriage. From what I hear, her parents proposed it, not Tarquin. If she hasn’t completely gotten wrapped up in the trappings of all that power, I’d imagine she’ll be as corrupt as her husband soon enough.”

I can’t restrain a wince at her caustic tone. If she had any idea what Aurelia’s already done to undermine the empire…

It’s far less safe for me to admit any of that. My family doesn’t trust the woman I love yet. I can’t give them ammunition against her, especially when my ability to speak up is so restricted.

Father touches Mother’s arm. “She did step in on the beach—I saw her bandage several of the injured. It showed some initiative.”

Leonor grimaces. “They wouldn’t have needed help if it wasn’t for her husband’s sadistic demands. I wonder what the gods think of him asking to be honored on the level of a divinity?”

I scrawl my next words hastily.She has to be careful about how much she defies him. He’d kill her as easily as any of us if he thinks she’s acted against his interests.

Mother sighs. “Perhaps she thinks she can offer us a little generosity, but she has no idea what it would cost to really make a difference. It’s hard to imagine he’d harm her while she’s carrying his child. He’s got quite a bit of bluster along with the rest of his venom. Easy for her to make a show of caring when the consequences won’t fall on her anyway.”

Even Father nods at that statement, though he speaks more softly. “The first heir is nothing to mess with.”

The first heir—like my sister standing next to them, so much more important than I could ever be.

The problem isn’t just that they don’t trust Aurelia. They don’t trust my judgment either.

I give it another try.He’s been very unstable. I know she doesn’t agree with most of what he’s doing and that she’s pushing back as well as she can. I’m not saying to tell her anything compromising, but give her a chance.

When I hold up the last paper, Mother’s gaze only rests on it for a moment before her attention flicks past it to my face. In that instant, the sadness in her eyes takes me back to my first visit after I’d completed my dedication sacrifice.

“You’ve gone soft for her,” she says. “That pretty face—imagining her as some kind of victim in the emperor’s schemes…She’s encouraged you to think that way, hasn’t she? You’ve never been good at guarding your heart.”

It’s true and yet so far from the truth. The disappointment in her voice sends a flare of frustration searing through my chest. I grit my teeth against the urge to yell everything I know into her head.

She hasn’t manipulated me, I write instead.I’ve seen plenty of acts of kindness that have nothing to do with me. This is the first time we’ve had a royal from outside Dariu so close to the emperor

Before I can finish my sentence, Mother has already peered across the flames to read it. She reaches around the brazier to snatch the paper and drop it into the fire.

Resignation winds through her words, enough to dampen any affection that might have joined it. “Lorenzo, you’ve never been cut out for this kind of politicking. I know it’s been hard for you living in that place—that you’d want to believe in whatever goodness you can find. But that makes you a vulnerable target to the kind of woman who’d aspire to marry an emperor.”

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