Page 104 of A Dance of Shadows

Nica has no idea what it’s like to live constantly on guard, putting on an act for everyone around you.

Neither does Cataline, my parents, my sister, or anyone else I knew before my marriage. They might not even recognize the woman I’ve had to become.

I settle on a statement vague enough that it can sound positive. “We’re finding our ways of working with each other. But I’m dying to know what’s been happening here since I left. What have you been up to?”

Nica starts telling me about a new festival she’s organizing, efforts around her home estate to redistribute extra farm yields to those most in need, and a lord who’s recently been making advances. She motions Cataline over to add another perspective.

I listen with smiles and nods—and a guilty twist of my gut. My attention keeps wandering away as it often does when the Darium nobles chatter about the latest shoes in fashion or furniture acquisitions. My friends are focused on plenty beyond personal frivolities, but their concerns still feel far removed from the worries weighing on me.

Lorenzo’s voice comes to me like a caress.“Keep showing that strength, Rell. Everyone is seeing that there’s nothing to fear while you’re charting the way.”

I blink back a sudden prickle in my eyes, my fingers itching to squeeze his hand.

We wind on our current course through a couple of wider tunnels and then, after a brief consultation between my parents and a couple of the older Accasian nobles, squeeze through a narrower passage one by one into a small room beyond. Werarely venture into these tunnels, but the maps of them are checked and confirmed every few years.

They did once serve as the first Accasians’ most essential escape route. We plan to be ready should we need them for a similar purpose again.

I touch the rough stone walls here and there, feeling for moisture. I only trekked to the spring in the depths of the cave system with an Eloxian devout once, a few years ago. It isn’t marked on the maps, at least not the royal ones.

I took on a larger quest with what seemed like necessary bravado, but it won’t do me any good if I appear to fail in it. Do I want to give Linus another false version of his request with the risk that he can tell the difference? The hill’s spring water is only said to grant clarity of mind, something I doubt Linus could recognize if he was drenched in it.

But after his punishment for my last misstep, I’m not sure it’s a gamble worth taking.

A flutter and a nudge in my belly solidify my resolve. It’s not just my own life I’m protecting.

Lorenzo speaks again as if right at my ear.“Raul says it’s slow going at the entrance. A lot of the rocks that fell last are particularly large and difficult to move.”

I turn my head until I can make out his dark face at the edge of my vision and then nod in answer. I have time then.

I clear my throat. “Now that we’re well on the right course, I’d better divert from the rest of you to seek out the blessed spring. From what I recall, it isn’t too deep into these passages. If I take one lantern and we leave one where we parted to mark that spot, I’m sure I can find my way back and then catch up with you.”

Mother’s face tightens with worry. “I don’t think you should go alone.”

Bianca pipes up from just behind me. “I’m curious to see more of all this Accasian history. I can keep Her Imperial Highness company.”

Nica and Cataline exchange a glance. Before they can speak, Raul’s voice rings out in a low drawl from where he’s pushed over beside me. “I’d imagine Queen Irini is more concerned with our empress’s safety than her social agenda. I’ll go along too—I know how much His Imperial Majesty wants his wife returned to him in one piece. I think three is plenty for what should be a quick diversion.”

His last words are firm enough that my old friends stay silent. Do they agree with his assessment, or are they afraid to challenge anyone who’s theoretically speaking for the emperor?

“Three will do,” I say brightly, and accept the lantern that’s handed to me. “I can see which path you’re following. Enjoy your adventuring! We’ll return soon enough.”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Aurelia

There shouldn’t be anything comforting about parting ways with my family and childhood friends to venture deeper into the chilly dankness of the caves. Yet as Bianca, Raul, and I walk down one of the side passages with the marker lantern’s light fading behind us, the tension wrapped around my lungs eases slightly.

The only people I have to perform for now are two who know most if not all of what I’ve been through—and who’ve never been particularly invested in having me perform for them anyway.

Bianca once prodded me about my possible interest in Lorenzo, but she’s never shown any suspicion about Raul. She doesn’t appear to think it odd that he’s volunteered to defend us from the dangers of the caves.

“So,” she remarks, lifting her skirts as she steps daintily over a ridge of rock but showing admirable composure for a woman who’s probably never been in a cave in her life, “I’m trusting that you know where this spring is? Is this something you Eloxiandedicats do a lot—go wandering off into wild terrain in search of water rather than pouring it from taps?”

I match the dryness of her tone. “Only when it’s sacred water. Our emperor deserves the best.”

She laughs. “He certainly does.”

As I hold the lantern aloft to spread the light down the tunnel ahead of us, I hook a finger surreptitiously into the fabric of Raul’s trousers and give a soft tug. I didn’t answer Bianca’s first question because I don’t think she’d like the answer. But perhaps the prince of Lavira can ensure I do know where I’m going.

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