Page 86 of A Pact of Blood

But I should take the opportunity to touch on one delicate subject I’m going to have to address sometime.

I offer a soft smile in return. “That sounds like a fair compromise. May I askyouropinion on something?”

“What’s that?”

“You expressed some misgivings about my participation in the confirmation rites. I had planned on completing the final two as well. If it’s your wish that I abstain, so be it, but I worry about the impression that will give our people.”

Marclinus nods slowly, his eyes going distant as he thinks through the implications. “It might seem as if you backed down out of fear—or lacked the commitment to see them all through.”

At least he’s clever enough to put those pieces together.

My smile tightens. “Exactly. I wouldn’t want to tarnish the start of your reign with an empress who’s seen as not only a bad omen but weak or fickle as well.”

“You’ve certainly made some progress toward turningthat first perception around.” He chuckles. “And I’m curious to see what you make of the final two rites. If I seem irritable about it later, simply remind me of this conversation.”

And hope that he doesn’t claim it was all a lie?

I’m hardly reassured, but I can’t ask for more approval than that. Whatever happens in the future, I’ll deal with it then.

Right now, in this strange moment, the silence that falls between us in the carriage feels nearly companionable.

Why couldn’t he be this man—arrogant and demanding, yes, but also contemplative and open to some small compromise—all of the time? I could tolerate being married to that man for the rest of my life, finding my ways of working alongside him.

As it is, I never know how quickly he’ll go back to poisoning me or mocking my moral standards.

He’s worn down the vast stores of patience I do possess bit by bit…

My fingers close around the spine of the book. Maybe that’s the beginning of a strategy right there.

I don’t have to knock him down in one blow. I can prick at him gradually, weaken him in some subtle way that’ll only matter in the face of a supposed accident.

All I need to do is determine what sort of accident he might happen to stumble into with the right nudge.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Aurelia

As I slink through the dim passages within the walls, a twinge runs through my belly, reminding me of the disappointing news I’m bearing. I swallow hard and push myself onward.

As soon as I saw Marclinus leaving this evening’s entertainments with one of the court ladies, I signaled to the princes to meet me in our hidden room after a couple of bells. I hadn’t been counting on returning to my chambers only to discover a splotch of red in my drawers.

I descend the stairs, rubbing my nose against the tickle of dust, and set my jaw. One lost month isn’t much. It’ll be a pleasure just getting to spend time with the men I love without the pressure of watching eyes.

I tell myself that, fixing a determined smile on my face as I ease aside the panel to step into the room. But the momentI see my three lovers’ faces brighten in the glow of lanternlight, a burn comes into my eyes.

Raul’s expression turns fierce in an instant. “What’s wrong, Aurelia?”

I blink hard, willing back the threatening tears. “It’s nothing particularly startling. These things take time. I started my monthly bleed.”

The two nights of closeness we ended up sharing back in the Ubettan palace weren’t enough. I’m not yet with child.

I don’t need to spell that out to my men. Lorenzo comes straight to me and slips his arm around my waist, drawing me against his well-built frame. Bastien steps near enough to cup my cheek and offer a kiss.

“We have time,” he says. “And we’ll get plenty more chances.”

Raul makes a gruff sound and claims my mouth the moment Bastien eases back. He stays at my side, stroking his fingers over my hair while Lorenzo dips his head close enough to rest his cheek against my temple. “I can’t see why the godlen wouldn’t blessyouof all people with a child quickly. Who would be a kinder, more patient mother than our Shepherdess? And you have a much bigger worthy cause on top of that!”

I make a face. “I don’t know how many of the godlen consider murdering the emperor a ‘worthy cause.’”

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