Page 135 of A Pact of Blood

Dark shadows hollow out her eyes, and her lips are cracked, but studying her, I’m not sure she’s any older than I am.

She wanted to bring her country a better future just like I do, and this is the thanks she got.

Her voice comes out in a rough croak. “And here’s the emperor’s whore. Gape all you want, backstabbing cunt.”

One of the soldiers bangs on the bars by her face. “Shut your traitorous mouth.”

She falls silent, but the prisoners’ eyes all around the hall have narrowed.

They don’t see a fellow freedom-fighter, of course. They think that I’m here for the same reason as Marclinus: to gloat over the empire’s triumph and their failure. They assume I turned my back on my country as much as all of theirs to support these horrors.

And I’m going to have to prove them right in the eyes of all the Darium spectators. I’m going to have to face these glares in the middle of the vast arena, drawing blood and no doubt having my own spilled in a desperate struggle.

My gut twists. I drag my gaze away to focus on my husband instead. “I assume the rite will be carried out tomorrow as planned? I should decide on my weapon so I have a chance to get familiar with it.”

Marclinus waves off my request. “The cleric who oversees the rite picks our instruments of battle with Sabrelle’s guidance. You don’t need to worry your head about that at all.”

My skin turns even clammier than I can blame on the atmosphere of the prison.

I do need to worry. I’m going to have to coat the blade with my potion surreptitiously in the moments before my battle rather than getting an opportunity to doctor it ahead of time.

We head back through the halls away from the cells. In the prison’s broad front room, Axius draws our squad of soldiers to a halt.

Perhaps a little of my uneasiness has shown on my face despite my best efforts, or perhaps the high commander is merely expressing doubts he feels he can’t keep quiet any longer. Either way, he clears his throat.

“Your Imperial Majesty, perhaps seeing the full reality of what awaits her, Her Imperial Highness might reconsider her intention to go through with the rite. It is quite a bit more intense than those before. You’re trained for battle—her preferred weapon is that tiny knife. I’d hate to see our empress injured, however fair we make the match.”

Marclinus turns to face me. My gaze darts from his penetrating eyes to the soldiers around us. Most of them havetensed, their mouths tight or slanted with traces of their own uncertainty.

Alltheysee is a pampered princess in a pretty dress who thinks she’s going to spar with a hardened criminal. They probably can’t imagine me rising to the challenge of tomorrow’s battle.

When I return my attention to my husband, he arches an eyebrow. “It isn’t too late to back out. If you feel this is a step too far for you, there’s no shame in sitting on the sidelines as the imperial consorts generally do.”

A tremor runs through my nerves. In that moment, the idea of taking him up on his offer comes with the sweetest of relief.

I could sit on my cushioned bench and not have to slash or stab, not have to grapple with an enemy whose cause I actually believe in. Not have to worry that the princes I love will meet their own dire fates when they stick out their necks to help me.

I don’t even know if the strategy I’ve devised with my princes will appease Sabrelle. Will she consider it an honor that I’ve shirked my supposed duty, even if I’ve made the appearance of fulfilling her rite? How will the godlen react if shedoesn’t?

Will she punish me… or the men who suggested the idea?

I could probably back out without losing respect I’ve gained with Marclinus through my past efforts—however much respect I’ve actually gained rather than ire. I’d simply have to reveal my pregnancy and use it as an excuse, and no one could blame me for not putting myself and the coming imperial heir in any danger.

All those thoughts flood my head, dizzying me. But a deeper ache holds me steady.

Our people would understand my shrinking from the challenge now. How will it affect their view of me in the future?

I’ll be setting myself up as simply a receptacle for the children I’m meant to bear Marclinus, with no real might or courage of my own. Why would anyone accept a mere vessel as a ruler when their “real” leader is gone?

When I ran through fire to claim the man in front of me as my husband, I was leaving the men I’d actually fallen for behind. That hasn’t stopped them from standing with me again, even if it’s from the shadows.

I’m not alone in this challenge. I have people I can rely on who are as committed as I am to seeing this plan through. I can’t let my fears for their safety hold me back.

Ineedto believe in their strength and in my own if I’m going to think beyond my next move to put myself in the best possible position to accomplish my bigger dreams.

Lifting my chin, I offer an assured smile. “I appreciate your and the high commander’s concern for my well-being, but I’m quite certain of my choice. All the people of Dariu deserve to know that I’ll fight for the good of the empire in every way I can, even if it means putting myself at risk. If that wasn’t the case, I wouldn’t be worthy of serving them or you.”

The gleam in Marclinus’s eyes tells me I’ve pleased him. Today, at least, he likes me fierce in my devotion.

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