I pull out my phone and give her the address, which she commits to memory before glancing back at the bar.
“I need to get back to work, but I’ll see you tomorrow.”
And then she’s gone, slipping back inside, leaving me standing alone with my world completely turned upside down. A baby. I’ve spent the last year thinking about a lot of possibilities, but becoming a father wasn’t on the list.
Jesus. Talk about life throwing curveballs.
The next afternoon, a knock at the door of my rental sends a shot of adrenaline through me. I open it to find Alana standing there with a tiny human strapped to her chest in a fabric carrier. The baby faces outward, taking in the world with wide, alert eyes.
I’ve had half a day to process this news, but seeing them together still knocks the wind out of me. This is my kid. My son.
“Come in,” I manage to say, stepping back from the doorway.
Alana slips off her sandals and turns to give me a better view of the baby. “This is Kai.”
I look at my son, who’s staring back at me with big brown eyes that somehow already look knowing, and something shifts inside my chest. It’s a feeling I’ve never experienced before—powerful and protective, almost overwhelming.
Alana pulls a colorful blanket from her bag and spreads it across the living room floor. With a mother's sureness, she lifts Kai out of the carrier and sets him on the blanket. As she works on removing the baby wrap, I sit down near Kai and reach out to touch his tiny hand.
His fingers, impossibly small, wrap around mine with surprising strength. He looks at me intently, like he’s sizing me up.
“Tell me everything about him,” I say.
Alana laughs as she sits down across from me. “Well, he loves music—starts kicking his legs whenever he hears it. He’s already trying to roll over, which the doctor says is early. And he’s huge for his age. The nurses at his last checkup kept commenting on how big his shoulders are.”
I look more carefully at the chunky baby on the blanket. “Yeah, he’s definitely my kid.” I realize how that might sound and quickly add, “Not that I had any doubts. Just meant?—”
“I understand.” Alana smiles. “For the record, there’s no chance he’s anyone else’s. But yeah, he’s a big boy.” She rubs her lower back. “Those shoulders of his made labor pretty intense.”
Regret hits me hard. “I wish I’d been there.”
“My mom helped me through it.”
“I’m glad for that, but I still wish I’d been there.” I meet her eyes. “Not just for the birth. For everything. Your whole pregnancy. It must have been hard doing it alone.”
“I managed.” But her expression softens, and I catch a glimpse of the Alana I connected with a year ago.
Our eyes lock, and for a moment, it feels like no time has passed. Then Kai lets out a wail that breaks the moment. Alana immediately shifts into mom mode, checking on him. “Someone needs a fresh diaper.” She reaches for her bag.
“I can change him,” I offer.
She looks surprised but nods. “Okay.” She pulls out a changing pad, diaper, and wipes from her bag.
“Full disclosure, I’ve never done this before,” I warn her. “You’ll need to walk me through it.”
“No problem.” She lays out the supplies. “First, put the changing pad under him.”
I follow her instructions, fumbling a bit but getting it done under her guidance. When I finish, I tickle Kai’s belly. “There you go, buddy. All clean. I’m planning to get a lot better at this, so cut me some slack, okay?”
I catch Alana’s expression—hesitant, uncertain. I get it. She isn’t expecting me to suddenly become a permanent fixture in Kai’s life. But I can’t imagine anything else. Sure, finding out I have a son was a shock. Having kids wasn’t in my game plan. But how could I not want this? I came here for Alana—Kai just gives me one more reason to stay.
“Do you know any houses available to rent around here?” I ask, watching her pack up the changing supplies.
She pauses. “You mean for you?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“What are you saying, Jackson?”