Page 122 of The Cupid Chronicles

“You’ve been functioning,” she says. “Winning awards and running a successful restaurant. We’ve eaten there a few times, you know?”

I go still. “I didn’t know.”

“We wanted to be respectful,” she says. “So we kept a low profile.”

I shake my head. “You shouldn’t have. You’re always welcome. That place wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Aria.”

She smiles. “Then we’ll be sure to come back in soon.”

“Good.”

There’s an awkward pause, and I know I need to say what I came here to say, and yet, the words aren’t there.

Lynn must sense this. She’s still watching me. “Your girlfriend is very pretty.”

“Oh, she’s—” But I stop myself. I don’t want to lie. “Yeah, she is.”

“Does she make you happy?” There’s no trace of judgment in her eyes. And I make sure of that before I respond.

“She does,” I say. “Is that okay?”

She’s taken aback. “Okay?”

“It feels unfair,” I say. “Like, why should I get to be happy when Aria’s?—”

“Matteo,” she says. “You get to be happy because you’re still here, and if she was still here, I’d say the same to her.”

“But why?” I ask. “Why am I here and she’s not?”

She shakes her head. “I’ve made my peace with the question ‘why,’” she says. “There’s not usually an answer to that one. I’ve mostly accepted it. Mostly.”

I’d love to find out how she did that.

She goes on. “I remember the first time I laughed after the accident. I felt so guilty. Like, I didn’t deserve to laugh. I’m a mother who lost her child, that’s who I am now—what is there to laugh about?”

“That’s how I feel,” I confess.

“But then, I realized, Arialovedto laugh. She loved to make other people laugh. And to see the people she loved happy. She would not be okay with all of us moping around, carrying some cross in her memory. That’s not the way we should honor her.”

“But how do I move on?” I ask, my voice breaking. “I promised her forever.”

“You promised ‘till death did you part,’” she says quietly. “You kept your vow. And so did she. But we’re still here, Matteo. And there is room in our hearts for more love. Our love for new people doesn’t dull the love we had for Aria. You have a lot of life left to live, kiddo. Live it. And live it well.That’show you honor her memory.”

I blink to keep myself from crying, but my eyes are clouded over, and the lump in my throat is back.

“Thank you, Lynn.”

She stands, then motions for me to do the same. When I do, she pulls me into a warm, tight, motherly hug. “It’s time to let go, Matteo. It’s okay.” A pause. “Let Aria go.”

As I stand there, wrapped in the quiet comfort of a familiar embrace, I think of my wife. I think of how much I loved her, how much I will always love her.

And then I think maybe Lynn is right. Maybe it’s time for me to finally, finally, remember that I’m alive.

Lynn pulls back. “Can you stay for a little while? Catch me up on your life?”

I nod. “I think I can do that.”

“Good,” she says. “I’ve missed being in the loop.”

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