Page 95 of Just Let Go

She’d always comforted herself with the typical “I guess he wasn’t the one...” and “God has someone better for me.” But sometimes they felt like things people told you because they didn’t know what else to say. Sometimes they felt like lies.

Regardless, one thing was certain: if plain, old, regular guys had lost interest because she wouldn’t sleep with them, there was no way Grady Benson was going to be okay with waiting. Not when he had girls like Ashley throwing themselves at him.

Grady propped himself up on the stool next to her, half-sitting on it, but with his feet still on the ground. “Have you ever done the same thing your whole life, and then you wake up and one day it just feels all wrong?”

He was looking past her, out the window.

“I never really thought about it until recently,” she said. “Because of you.”

His eyes found hers, and in that moment she chose to be kind. Guarded, of course, but still kind.

“I’ve done the same thing every day of my adult life. My friends set their clocks by me. I never thought I wanted anything more until this past week. What you said before about me being scared—it’s true. Sometimes I think I’m scared of everything.”

“Everything?”

She smiled. “Most things.”

“Like...?”

“Like spiders.” She looked up at the ceiling. “And mice. And squirrels.”

“Squirrels?”

“They’re crazy.” She laughed. “And... other things too.”

His silence encouraged her to go on.

“Like never seeing my mother again. Like never proving to her that I did just fine without her.”Like showing her she made a huge mistake when she left.“Like leaving Harbor Pointe.”Like falling inlove.

“That scares you?”

Her eyes found the floor. “Stupid, right?”

“No. Not stupid.” There was a lull then, but not the kind that made her uncomfortable. Just a quiet stillness while they both gathered their thoughts.

He reached over and took her hand. “I have no idea why, but I want to be the person who helps you get over all of that.”

She looked at their two hands, his wrapped around hers, as if they formed some sort of hard shell—a casing meant to protect her—and for the briefest moment, she wondered what it would feel like if she let herself believe that’s what he could be for her. Someone who showed her that there was a whole big world waiting to be explored. And it wasn’t scary at all. Or at least the scary parts could be conquered.

She just had to stop waiting and step off that front porch. Why was it so hard to take that first step?

“What about you?”

His eyes searched hers. “What about me?”

“What are you afraid of? And don’t say nothing because I’ll know it’s a lie.”

He half laughed.

“I mean, I know you’re not afraid to put yourself in danger. You kind of seem to thrive on it.”

“Does that bother you?” He shifted, then pushed himself off the stool, pulling his hand away. She missed the warmth of his skin on hers.

“Of course not.” It didn’tbotherher—it scared her. Did he have a death wish or something?

He stood directly across from her now, only about a foot away. He was so close, and she felt herself wanting to retreat. Why was he asking so many questions? Why was he standing so near? Why had he held her hand?

“Not even a little?”

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