Page 31 of Devour the Dark

I just never expected to fight for his attention with James. Roc’s earlier comment about sharing, about detesting jealousy has me examining it from all directions. I am jealous. I’m jealous of everyone’s love. For the last however many decades, I’ve been alone, fighting for my place, trying not to get banished, killed, or imprisoned again.

I distrust everyone. Or at least I did, until Asha.

But the number of people in my life has tripled in a matter of days. I don’t know how to let any of them in without exposing myself to more heartache.

I want what Vane and Winnie have.

But I want it with James and Roc and I don’t want to be afraid of feeling less than between them.

How the hell do I do that?

Winnie looks up as if she can sense my internal distress. She frowns over at me. There’s a gilded candelabra between us that holds three ivory candles. The flames flicker, the wax dripping down the sticks.

“Are you okay?” Her mouth moves, but the words are buried beneath the din of conversation between Vane, Roc, and Asha.

I give her a nod, even though it’s half-hearted.

Beside me, James lurches in his chair and he cuts his gaze across the table to Winnie. She’s staring back at him, eyes wide.

James turns to me. “You aren’t eating.”

I think she must have kicked him beneath the table.

I should be the one looking out for her, not the other way around.

I pick up my fork. “I am.”

Maggie and her crew have prepared roasted chicken, potatoes, and broccoli. I break a potato in half and take a bit. “See?”

James leans into me, his hand on my thigh and my heart races to my throat. “I know this is strange. I know you’ve barely had time to process all of this. There will come a day when we are no longer putting out fires.”

I smile up at him. There is earnestness in his expression. James was always a gentle breeze. The kind you lean into with a sigh.

“I’m looking forward to the day.”

“Wendy,” Roc says, and James and I pull apart.

“Hmm?”

“Your girl is trying to pry into my past with a knife. Is she always this forward?”

Asha is situated between Vane and Roc across the table from me. I meet her gaze. She’s not uncomfortable being put on the spot. Asha has always liked a challenge.

“Yes,” I answer.

“Well I don’t like it,” Roc answers, but he’s smiling like maybe he does.

“I spent years in the Darkland Archives,” Asha says, taking up her glass of wine. “You must know your origins are heavily censored, which makes you confounding and astonishingly interesting all at the same time.”

“Do you hear that, brother?” Roc glances down the table at Vane. “We are astonishingly interesting.”

“That’s an understatement,” Winnie answers.

“Do you know what they are?” I blurt.

The table goes quiet.

James squeezes my thigh beneath the tablecloth, almost a warning.

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