Page 74 of Secret Baby for the Italian Mafia Don

“I just…I didn’t have any plans,” I admit through the tightness in my mouth. “And we both know this isn’t working as much as it’s just hanging out. That doesn’t sound like such a bad birthday to me.”

Wrong answer, Tessa says with her expression, not even bothering with words.

“You’re going to do whateveryoulike today, Ava. Birthday girls don’t change diapers. Not on my watch, anyway. Isn’t there something you’d like to do?” she insists. “We could make a day of it, if you want. Lunch, shopping, going to a resort or seeing a show—you know I could have Sal fly you out somewhere, if you wanted. A spontaneous day trip. You could take Frankie, and if you leave now, you’d be in London by three.”

I resist the urge to tell her I mostly want a nap and a glass of cold, tasteless water.

“I really hadn’t thought about it…”

Tessa frowns. Like everyone else, she has tried to be patient with my recovery. She’s begged and rationalized and bribed, but she hasn’t pushed me too much. She tries another gentle suggestion: “Did you tell Thaddeus, at least? He might want to do something.”

“If he finds out he gave me a car a week before my birthday, he might lose his mind.”

Tessa smiles mirthlessly. “I’ve seen the man’s bank statements,” she says, chillingly matter-of-fact. “I see no reason why that should be a problem at all.”

I decide not to ask how she has those or when she started taking on Sal’s mannerisms. “I thought you didn’t approve of him,” I say.

“I don’t. Not yet. But seeing what he does for your birthday will give me some more insight, which I think is invaluable.” When my hesitation lingers too long, Tessa suddenly asks, “What about Nico?”

The question catches me like a stray bullet.“What about Nico?” I ask, careful to keep my voice neutral.

I don’t know what sense there is in still being subtle about it when the man practically burned my name into the front yard, but confessing one truth feels like confessing them all, so I play dumb.

“They’re brothers, you know,” Tessa says softly, “and they’re not as different from each other as they’d like to believe. I see the way he looks at you, Ava. I know that look.”

Heat crawls slowly up my spine.

They are more different than she knows. Sal adores Emma.

“He can look at me all he likes,” I say firmly, “but I’m engaged. For the family.”

Tessa doesn’t seem convinced one way or the other.

“Then maybe you should act like you’re engaged,” she nudges gently, but it stings regardless. My throat works. I know she’s right. “It’s not my call to decide who you want to spend your birthday with, but I think you should do something nice. My treat, whatever it is. Just use the family card and don’t skimp. I’ll know if you do.”

I am sent back downstairs with Tessa’s gentle advice weighing over me and Nico’s words circulating through my whole body. They weigh heavily in my chest, clench in my heart, sting in my eyes. I can’t escape it. I just feel so, so stupid.

I take my phone out of my back pocket, my fingers hesitating between the list of names. I scroll straight past Nico, landing instead on Thaddeus. We still have no message history between us, so I fire the first shot:

Dinner tonight?

With the family?

No. Something low-key? It’s my birthday and they’ll make a big fuss.

It’s twenty minutes before I’m given a wishy-washy:

We’ll see.

I’m not exactly disappointed, but it is frustrating.

In front of the family, Thaddeus was overly attentive, lavishing me in interest and gifts. Away from their judgmental stares, I hardly feel worth his time. Some part of me knows that it’s fine, that I don’t want his attention and the less he cares, the easier this will be, but the tiny little backbone I have grown over the past few months stiffens up and insists that I deserve better than this.

Nico would never,something in me insists, before the rational part of me interjects:You have no idea whatNico would do.

I force myself to close the phone screen without messaging him. Exhausted and queasy and feeling particularlypregnantfor the first time, I decide the first present I am going to give myself is a few more hours of sleep where I don’t have to be conscious for any of this, and I can cry into my pillow until the world disappears.

My second present is scheduling a doctor’s appointment, but I haven’t made a decision.

---