Page 58 of Secret Baby for the Italian Mafia Don

By the time I have the pregnancy test, I’ve almost talked myself out of the panic—but not enough to stop me from buying a couple extras, just in case. I have to pay with my phone. I realize, for the first time, that I marched off without my bag or wallet, not even a driver’s license. I have no idea who the car is really registered to. I can barely think straight, my thoughts fogged up with anxiety. The pimply-faced teenager congratulates me when he rings my order up, and in a huff, I tell him I’m not pregnant, while snatching my too-many pregnancy tests off the counter.

It hits me on the way back home—this is the first time I’ve really been afraid in months.

I make it to the threshold of my room, where I open the door and come face to face with my new bedroom. Nico must have finished the work today while I played nanny. I stand stunned in the doorway. The bed is bigger, with crisp new sheets and sheer curtains trailing down from overhead, lined with draping fairy lights that make the space private and mystical. The artwork, plants, and décor he has left in one corner for me to design the way I want.

I’m stunned by how gorgeous it all is, how much time he must have taken to make sure it was just right.

“You know why Nico’s doing this, don’t you?”

I whip around, instinctively slinging the plastic bag behind my back. Marcel leans in the doorway, his arms crossed as he looks over the new room.

“It’s not because he’s nice, Ava. I wish it was. Him and Thaddeus, they’re two sides of the same coin. Salvatore asked me to stay out of the arrangement you have with him, and I’mtrying. But Nico is just the same. He just wants to use you somehow. You’re a pawn in this game between me and him. Do you understand that?”

My mouth is dry, my thoughts spinning around the secret hidden behind my back.

“Maybe,” I whisper, barely able to think about it.

He sighs and steps into the room.

“If he hurts you in all this, Ava, I’ll kill him. I won’t pretend I have any right to police who you talk to or what you do. I’m…trying to let you navigate this on your own. But please, please be careful, Ava. For me. Nico Mori wants one thing and one thing only. It’s no coincidence that he’s taken an interest inyou.”

My throat feels tight. I can’t look at him.

“Not that Thaddeus is much better,” he sighs, holding up his hands, “but I’m not permitted to speak on that.”

“You don’t have to do everything Sal tells you, you know,” I mutter softly.

Marcel’s gaze darkens slightly.

“Andthatis exactly the kind of thinking you cannot let Nico put in your head,” he says, so sternly that I feel like a child again. “One way or the other, this will sort itself out. Nico can’t go for long without making some irreparable mistake. This time, whatever it is won’t land him anywhere that he can come back from. I just want you clear of the wreckage.”

My heart pinches quietly in my chest as, surrounded by all of Nico’s hard, thankless work, Marcel wishes death upon him.

“What did you get at the store?” he asks, looking at the bag I’ve had squirreled away behind my back.

“Tampons,” I blurt.

Marcel raises both his hands and backs out of the room.

“And that’s my cue. Just…be careful with him, Ava,” he says. “Withbothof them.”

The door clicks shut. I rush into the bathroom and start tearing through the packaging. My hands are shaking so hard, I can barely read the instructions, the words a blur, my thoughts stampeding over themselves. I drop it twice before I finally get it open, shaking head-to-toe and struggling to regulate my breathing.

It’s amazing how long three minutes can feel. How seconds can stretch out on themselves until you can feel each one aching in your limbs. I pace the narrow tile floor of my bathroom, avoiding eye contact with myself in the mirror.

Slowly, I convince myself that all the anxiety will go away if I just look at the results. That’s the only way to get this swarming, stinging beehive of thoughts out of my head. If I just look, it can all be over.

I dare to look, just one tiny peek.

The universe wins the game.

17

Ava

Where are you?

I stare at the blurry words in the text box, then delete them slowly, one letter at a time. In the few months that Nico and I have known each other, I have never texted him first. Not once. He’ll know something’s off, and he’ll never let me rest until I confess the truth.

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