Page 55 of Life of the Party

“I’m going to take Mackenzie home.” He announced to our friends.

Charlie frowned. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Mac, I don’t know if you should sleep after hitting your head so hard.”

“Her pupils are fine,” Zack decided then, after a studied look at my eyes. “And it’s been a few hours already. If she had a concussion or something, there’d be signs.”

“How do you know all this stuff?” I wondered weakly, made a little uncomfortable by his penetrating gaze.

“Standard lumberyard first aid.” He grinned. “You should be fine, but if anything changes, like you can’t see or you’re dizzy or throwing up and stuff, don’t be an idiot. Go to the hospital.”

Charlie gave me a hug. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Are you sure you’re okay?”

I nodded, trying to convince her. “Yeah, I just want to go home.”

“Okay.” She looked pleadingly over at Grey. “Take care of her, will you?”

He nodded, his words weighted with meaning. “I will.”

The air was still warm outside, but I couldn’t keep a shiver from running up my spine as we stepped onto the sidewalk. I wrapped my arms around myself and stared down at the ground, trying to seem oblivious, but painfully aware of the footsteps beside mine, the silent presence so close to my side. Grey and I walked quietly a few moments, listening to the wind in the trees, the sounds of our shoes on the cement. With every step, the air seemed thicker with something…with nerves and frustration, and unspoken…impatience, almost.

Finally, Grey cleared his throat. He seemed uncomfortable beside me, fidgety. His jaw tensed a few times, and he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

“I’m not very good at this.” He suddenly blurted, running a hand through his thick mess of dark hair.

I didn’t say anything, only looked over and waited for him to continue.

“I owe you an apology, Mackenzie. An explanation at the very least.”

I nodded.

“I, uh…” He looked over at me. “Does your head still hurt?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? What about your—”

“I’m fine, Grey.” I nearly snapped.

“I’m sorry.” He breathed deeply, and looked at me again, his blue eyes full of warmth and sincerity. But then he shook his head and fell silent.

We kept walking. I thought I might lose my mind with impatience, but I kept my mouth shut. He wasn’t going to get any help from me. If he had something to say to me, I wanted him to say it. I wanted to hear the words from his lips.

“We were…” He started again. “We came out there tonight so I could apologize, Mackenzie. I’ve been terrible to you.”

I had no argument for this.

“I just…I never expected to feel…I mean, when I saw you there, tonight, I almost lost it. I think I did a little. Just the thought of you hurt or sad…or…or worse…I…” He rubbed his hands over his face. “I couldn’t take it. The thought of you in pain. I was so fucking angry at that guy…but I’m even angrier at myself.”

I nodded for him to continue.

“I hate myself for hurting you. When I think about what I’ve done, what I did to you, on purpose…” He struggled for a moment. “I understand if you hate me.”

I sighed. Was that even possible? “I don’t hate you, Grey,” I admitted, softly.

“See? It’s you, right? I thought you were just like all the others, vain and petty and…boring. But you…I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’ve got this, this spark, or something. You’re alive. But I didn’t want to admit what I felt. I didn’t even know I was capable of it…you know? I tried to convince myself otherwise.”

I nodded again, trying to maintain my rigidity…but I couldn’t help myself. My heart was melting, my careful façade breaking. He was saying all the things I’d ever wanted him to say, and my poor, foolish heart could do nothing but warm to him, utterly powerless, utterly defenceless. I crossed my arms in an effort to remain untouched.

Somehow we were standing on the street in front of my house already. The blocks had vanished unnoticed behind me as we walked, completely occupied by the sound of his voice, deep and low in the quiet, speaking those impossible words to me.

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