Page 173 of Life of the Party

Riley loved me. He loved me.

“One word from you, and I’m not going anywhere…”

No. Itdidn’t make any sense. I’d given Riley words, plenty, before he left with Emily. I’d begged him to stay, but he’d refused. We’d become like strangers to each other.

How could he do that to me? How could he claim to love me, and leave me like that?

I didn’t know. I didn’t know what to do. I was so confused, so…unsure.

Then, with a sinking heart, I heard Riley start the car behind us. I heard him put it in drive, heard him pull out onto the street, the sound of his engine slowly fading away.

Riley had left me, again, but for good this time.

Mom smiled at me through her tears. “Honey, I’m so proud of you.” Gently, she stroked my hair back from my face, her eyes shining with sincerity. “I’ve missed you so much.” I knew she didn’t just mean the last three months. I’d been gone for years.

Mom put an arm around me and led me into the house. I forced my distress away, forced a smile on my face, forced myself to focus on the rest of my family, waiting for me in the living room beneath a “Welcome Home, Mackenzie!” banner tacked up on the wall. Marcy was there, and Blake, and my dad—and from the moment I walked in the door, they were beaming at me.

Dad came right over and hugged me, kissing my hair, tears shining in his eyes. He passed me over to Marcy, who whispered in my ear how impressed she was by what I’d done. And even Blake, in an awkward, brother-in-law kind of way, hugged me to him with great sincerity and told me I’d been missed.

I couldn’t have asked for a better reception. It reminded me of Christmas, like I wasaccepted again, like I was truly loved. For real this time. We sat down and caught up on the last three months. My family hung on every word, like they’d never expected to hear me speak again, like every sentence was a special gift.

I had much to say to them. Tearfully, I confessed and apologized for everything I’d ever done. For lying and sneaking out, for my attitude, my hurtful words, for stealing their money, for ruining Marcy’s wedding…for everything. When I was done, I knew I was forgiven. I knew we could start again with a clean slate. I knew I had a family that loved me, a family I felt blessed to be a part of.

It was such a weight off my shoulders. When we sat down to dinner, the conversation around me was light and happy. I should’ve been happy too. My confessions had been difficult, but they were over and I should have been relieved.

I sat back and tried to join in the talk around the table, to revel in the aura of celebration around me. To ignore the dreadful knot of worry, gnawing at my stomach.

“Where’s Riley?” Mom wondered suddenly, “I thought he’d be here with you.”

I stared at her a moment, my forkful of pot roast halfway to my mouth. “You did?”

“Yes.” She smiled warmly at me. “I have an apology to make, too, Mackenzie. I’m sorry. I was wrong about Riley. He really is a wonderful young man.”

“Seriously?” I looked despairingly at Marcy. “Where’s my real mom?”

“I know.” Marcy laughed. “She’s right though. He came over all the time to let us know how you were doing.”

I couldn’t contain my surprise. “He didn’t.”

“He did.” Mom smiled. “I invited him for supper tonight, but I guess he had plans?”

“Yeah, he’s…he’s flying back tonight,” I mumbled.

Mom and Marcy exchanged a secret, knowing glance, blaming Riley for the sudden crimson blush staining my cheeks; the way I speared my potato uneasily with my fork. It wasn’t just him, it was…everything. The sudden sinking feeling deep in my soul, telling me I was doing the wrong thing, letting Riley go. The fearful, nagging voice in my head insisting it was the only way. The kiss I couldn’t stop thinking about. The crazy spark that sizzled between us, reminding me of everything we’d missed out on. Everything we could’ve been.

Anxiously, I bit my lip, a panicked sweat running cold over my tensed limbs. I didn’t know what to do, and time was running out. I needed to talk to someone about it, someone who knew me, someone who’d understand, who’d really get the situation.

My eyes widened as a sudden thought occurred to me—a horribly dangerous, wonderfully appealing idea. Charlie. I had Charlie. She knew me, she’d understand.Once upon a time, I’d told her everything, and suddenly, I was desperate to see my friend again. To talk to her, to laugh with her, to let her know how badly she’d been missed. To hear from her lips the answer to my problems.

She was so close to me now…

“Do you mind if I go out for a bit?” I asked abruptly.

Everyone around the table stopped, eying me cautiously. I chuckled to myself.

“I’m not going to get high,” I reassured them. “I just need to go see someone.”

Mom tried really hard not to offend me. “Who, sweetie?” She asked warily.

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