Page 82 of Life of the Party

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.” My heart was pounding in my chest, and my skin shone with the cool sheen of sweat. Heat was pouring off of me. I sat up and looked at Grey. “I’m not mad, really.” I panted, “I’m happy for you. I mean, I’m going to miss…miss…”

“Hey, Mackenzie…are you okay?” He sat up and looked at me, his face concerned, his eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t look so good.”

“What, yeah, I just…” I pressed a hand to my chest. It felt like someone was sitting on it, or pushing against it or something, like I couldn’t breathe. I wiped a hand over my damp face and got up off the bed, but the change made me feel dizzy and I staggered back against it. I fanned myself with my hand. “I just gotta…”

What did I have to do? Wasn’t there something I had to do?

“Mackenzie.” Grey was suddenly before me. When did he get there? He waved his hand in front of my face as if trying to get my attention. I felt the sudden urge to run, like I had to escape the mounting panic in my stomach. My hands were tingling like they’d fallen asleep. I stared blankly in front of me, trying to think, trying to get my mind right. There was something I had to do. Run. I wanted to run.

“Hey, hey, look at me.” Grey’s face was close to mine—too close, he was stealing my breath. I couldn’t breathe. His hands were on my arms, burning me, searing my skin. “Mackenzie, look at me!” He implored.

Then everything went blurry, like water poured on a painting, and there was a flash of white, blinding light that engulfed my entire being.

I knew nothing more.

CHAPTER 33

“Mackenzie, Mackenzie, shit, wake up. Wake up!” Grey’s voice was the first thing that registered in my mind. It sounded hoarse, like he’d been screaming, like he was frantic with worry. I turned my head towards the sound, struggling to open my heavy eyelids. My throat was dry and sore as I swallowed sluggishly. My head was pounding.

“Grey?” I choked out, my voice cracking. I felt terrible, like every single cell in my body was sick, but at least I could breathe again. I inhaled deeply, which made me cough, and my entire body radiated with pain from the action. I opened my eyes.

Grey was leaning over me, his blue eyes looking me over, a mixture of worry and relief playing on his face. He let out a breath and dropped his head into his hands.

“Holy shit, Mackenzie. Don’t you ever do that to me again.”

“What happened?” I wondered, slowly. I couldn’t remember anything past the overwhelming flash of white.

“You had a seizure.” Grey shook his head in disbelief. “How much fucking coke did you do today?”

“I don’t know…” I swallowed thickly, trying to remember. “A bit.”

“A bit.” He repeated, his face grim. “You mean enough to make you OD. Right?”

I didn’t know what to say to that. I bit my lip and shut my eyes instead. My head was pounding fiercely. “My head hurts,” I complained, trying to change the subject.

“Your whole body’s going to hurt. You were thrashing into everything.” Grey shook his head again, as if he were reliving the moment but trying to rid himself of the memory. “I couldn’t stop you. I tried everything.”

“Really?” I tried to imagine it. I couldn’t believe what happened; I felt so normal now; I just couldn’t picture myself convulsing there on the floor like a fish flappingout of water. The throbbing in my head and my arms and my legs proved it really happened though—I’d really had a seizure, one that must have been terrifying to witness. I looked up at Grey and his face was hard, almost like the worry made him angry. His eyes didn’t leave me for a second.

I gave him a shaky smile. “I’m sorry, Grey. I’m okay now, though. I mean, I feel okay, at least. Wow. Has this…ever happened to you before?”

“Yeah, once.” He admitted. “We’d been doing coke all day before a show. I just blacked out, and woke up with this huge gash across my chin. I wound up getting stitches and had to do the show with this huge bandage.”

“But you were okay after?”

“Yeah,” Grey remembered. “I mean, I did end up going to the hospital, but it was more for the cut than the coke.”

“Why does it happen?”

“Like any overdose. Your body just shuts down, it can’t handle it. Coke leaves your system pretty quickly though, so it doesn’t take long to recover. Usually.” Grey let out a shaky sigh. “Fuck, you scared me.”

“I’m sorry, Grey.” Weakly, I sat up, wedged on the floor between the bed and the dresser. My arms trembled, barely able to support me.

“Here.” Grey stood up and grasped me under the arms with his strong hands, lifting me up from the floor with ease. He set me down gently on the bed. I felt weak and achy and my limbs were quivering. I hugged him for a minute before he let me go, breathing in his scent, loving the feel of his warm arms around me. I was surprised to find I wasn’t even scared—though really, I could’ve died; who knows what would’ve happened if Grey hadn’t been there. But Greywasthere, and I knew everything would be all right. I knew he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me. I felt totally safe with him, all the time.

“Mackenzie.” He pulled away, his dark face serious. “You have to be more careful.”

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