Page 42 of Life of the Party

And suddenly, I didn’t want to be.

As if he could read my mind, Grey pulled away, his blue eyes smouldering. I didn’t want him to stop. He took my hand again, and wordlessly, we left the dance floor. He led me through the crowd, impatient, almost. I didn’t think to wonder where we were going, so long as we continued where we left off. Hastily, we made our way through the partiers into the VIP section, then down the hallway into the little room off the back. I wondered if anyone was staring at us, but I didn’t turn to look.

The room was empty. There were a few club chairs in a circle and a round coffee table in the middle. A chalky mirror sat on the table. I took all this in with one glance as Grey shut the door behind us. As soon as the lock was turned, Grey grasped me tightly by the hips with his strong hands and pushed me roughly toward the nearest chair. I fell back willingly, eagerly accepting his weight as it crushed down on me. I wrapped my legs around him and met his lips with just as much intensity.

His hands felt so good. His hands and his lips and just the hardness of his body as it pressed against mine. I’d never felt this way before with any other boy. I’d never experienced this level of lust, of complete and utter abandon. I couldn’t think straight anymore; I just wanted all of me to experience all of him. I couldn’t get enough.

Swiftly, I ripped his shirt off, delighting in the dark, hard muscle of his chest, running my hands down it. Slowly his hands moved from my hips to my waist, and I moaned at the delicious trail of heat they left upon my skin. Desperately, I wanted his hands to move up. I arched my back instinctively, pressing my chest against him. Grey made a noise then, like a growl almost, and moved his hand to my breast.

The moment he touched me, I knew I would have sex with him. The thought took me by surprise as I realized we were headed in that exact direction. I wanted it though—I did, more than I ever had with anyone else. I’d never done it with any other boy because I’d never felt like this before. I’d never wanted someone so badly. I’d never been in love, real love, like I was with Grey.

I welcomed his caresses fervently. I felt his hand on my knee, his fingers trailing fire as they slowly moved up my leg, under my skirt, up my thigh…

“I love you. I love you, Grey.” I spoke the words before I realized it. They just slipped out. I’d been thinking them, and suddenly they were on my lips, and I’d said them. My eyes opened wide, and I looked up at Grey, curious to see how he’d react.

He chuckled. “That’s the drugs, sugar.” He kissed me. I giggled, too, kissing him back, relieved my words hadn’t totally freaked him out.

But the sudden pause, however brief, was enough to clear my head a little.

I did love Grey, my words had been true, and I would give him everything. Everything, even if he had nothing to give me in return. Suddenly, I needed him to know that. It was rash, impulsive and super, super stupid of me, but I desperately wanted to share with Grey everything I was feeling. And I had to act fast before I stopped thinking altogether…

“Wait, wait, Grey,” I whispered breathlessly.

“What?” His voice was husky in my ear.

“I do.” I looked at him, right in the eyes. My heart hammered in my chest; I prayed I wouldn’t lose courage. I placed my hands on either side of his face. “I do love you.”

“No, you don’t.” He grinned. “That’s just the drug—”

“No, it’s not the drugs,” I argued. “I felt this way before I took them. I love you.” The more I said it, the easier it became.

He scoffed and chuckled at me. “What is this, some kind of joke?”

“No, it’s not a joke.” I sat up slightly. “I’m totally serious. I’m not going to play head games with you or screw you around or anything. I want to be honest with you, always.”

“You love me?” Grey repeated skeptically. He eyed me warily.

“Yes. Yes, I love you. I think I have from the first moment…” I smiled and traced my finger over his lips, slightly parted, tinged red from my lipstick. I glanced up at him hopefully. Grey looked at a complete loss. His eyebrows were furrowed, his jaw was clenched, but his blue eyes were still warm. It looked like he was processing my words, going over them in his head, trying to make sense of them.

“Can I prove it to you?” I whispered. “Can I show you?” I caressed his cheek with my thumb a moment and then pulled his face down to mine. Our lips met, and quickly the intensity between us renewed. If anything, Grey became more aggressive, almost like he was in a sudden hurry. Roughly, he shoved the skirt of my dress up over my hips, his hands hard against my skin. I didn’t mind; I’d do anything he wanted—I just couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. Was it possible he loved me too? Did this new ardour mean he shared my feelings?

Or were his frenzied kisses simply his way of getting me to shut up?

I didn’t know, but my heart beat harder as I realized what was about to happen. I was about to have sex for the first time. With Grey. I wondered briefly if it would hurt, but quickly pushed the thought aside. It didn’t matter. I put my hands to the back of his head and deepened our kiss, twining my fingers in his dark, unruly hair. He was everything I’d ever wanted.

Then, abruptly, Grey pulled away from me. His face was suddenly hard, his jaw clenched. He leaned back from me and glared—long gone was the warmth from his blue eyes. He was breathing heavily. I looked at him in utter confusion, stammering.

“What—”

“You love me.” It was a statement, like an accusation, almost.

I swallowed and nodded, slowly. “Yes,” I whispered.

Grey scoffed. He shook his head and chuckled lowly. His movements became swift and rigid as he pushed himself away from me, snatching his hands away like my flesh was poison. He grabbed his shirt from the floor and whipped it over his head, his muscled torso disappearing beneath the fabric. I could do nothing but watch him, alarmed by the sudden change in his mood.

Clearly, the feelings I’d professed were something Grey did not want to hear. I couldn’t regret my decision to tell him, because every word was true. But I did regret the way he glared at me now. I wished he felt the same.

“That’s just too damn bad,” Grey spoke. “Because you mean nothing to me.” He made sure I was looking, waited until, wincing, I looked into his cold, hostile blue eyes. “You got that? Nothing.” He repeated, his voice low, malicious. “I don’t love you, I don’t like you. I don’t even care about you. You’re just a fucking lay; I tried to tell you that. And I don’t need this shit.”

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