Page 33 of Life of the Party

“No, thanks. I think I’ll walk home.” I decided, spur of the moment. There was no way I could get in the car—so near Grey—and pretend like nothing was the matter. I wanted to be by myself.

“You sure? Free lift?” He suggested. I met his eyes a moment, shook my head, and turned for the sidewalk. As he opened the car door to get in, I overheard Charlie asking about me. I didn’t hear Grey’s reply as the door shut, and after a moment, the silver car sped past me, burning down the street. The music floated in the air long after the car had faded from view.

It was windy, but the wind was warm. I let out a shaky breath and began to walk. I felt stupid, and exhausted…and just…used. Maybe it had been “young” of me to assume Grey and I were now an item just because we’d made out for a while. Maybe people their age did that all the time.

I didn’t. I didn’t go around throwing myself at every boy and making out with someone new every weekend. The small list of boys I’d kissed all meant something to me; they had been and still were special. Especially Grey.

I pictured them in the car, passing the flask around, the music loud. What were they going to do that night? Was Grey going to meet some other girl to have fun with?

I kicked at a random pop can thrown negligently on the street. I was so naïve. So stupid.

Maybe I’d wanted him to like me too much. Maybe I’d imagined all his special looks and soft smiles. We’d had such a good time though, we’d connected, romantically, more than I ever had with anyone else. Was that just wishful thinking as well? Was I really nothing more to him than a warm body to party with?

Whatever. My poor self was so exhausted. The cocaine slowly crept from my system, totally draining me…emotionally, physically. I felt the edges of a headache looming.

Our town was small enough it only took fifteen minutes to walk practically everywhere. I spent the remainder of the time thinking of Grey and the night before and how wonderful it had all been. How good it had felt waking up to him that morning. How he cupped my head to kiss me when I was leaving.

How it had been much, much more than just fun to me.

CHAPTER 15

“Mackenzie…Mackenzie.”

I groaned at whoever was shaking my shoulder.

“Mackenzie…wake up. You’re going to be late for school.” My mom spoke quietly, prodding my shoulder gently.

“No…no, Mom, I’m not going to school.” I decided. My head still ached.

“What’s the matter? Are you sick?”

“I don’t feel good.”

“What about classes? You have exams coming up so soon…”

“It’ll be fine. I don’t have any tests today.”

I could practically hear her frown. “Are you sure? Hmmm…You don’t seem to have a fever…” She placed her forearm on my forehead.

“I have a crazy headache,” I complained, pushing her arm away. I thought about telling her the truth. Actually, Mom, I’ve done a ton of cocaine the last few days; I just really need to sleep it off…then I should be fine.

“Can I get you something?”

“No, thanks. I just want to sleep.” I snuggled back into my pillow.

“Okay, then. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”

“Okay.” I yawned. That was at eight.

At three-twenty-three, I woke up again. I did feel better. I stretched, yawned, and thought about doing more cocaine. I spared a thought for the poor suckers just leaving school. I wondered if Riley noticed my absence.

Then I remembered that he and his stupid Christian girlfriend were going on

ourcamping trip withherfamily.

My mood soured a little. I wondered how to buy cocaine…where I could get it from, some of my own. How much it cost. Surely, Charlie would know.

I wondered if they’d all woken up in Charlie’s living room again. If Alex and Zack were animatedly talking about all the good times I missed out on. If Grey were on the living room floor with some girl, one who could lay in his arms all day because she didn’t have to go to school, because she was his age.

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