Page 171 of Life of the Party

And then I’d kissed him.

I couldn’t believe I’d ever forgotten this. Now I could remember everything…the taste of his mouth, the feel of it against mine. How good it felt. How right.

I’d taken him by surprise at first, but after he recovered he’d kissed me back, and then we kept kissing, and kissing—eagerly, compulsively, fuelled by years of pent-up curiosity, the sudden culmination of all our hidden feelings, undeniable and perfect.

You and I, we live and die

The world’s still spinnin’ ‘round, we don’t know why

Why, why, why, why…

Now, my eyes flew open, wide with the memory. Gasping as I realized.

“I kissed you,” I stated simply. That barely covered it. For a few stolen, secret moments, we’d been more than friends. We’d been more than I ever thought possible.

I shook my head. “What happened…after?”

“Nothing.” His voice was gruff, lost in the memory. He wouldn’t look at me. “I put you to bed and when you woke up, you’d forgotten it all.”

“How? How could I ever forget this?”

“You were high, Mac.” He shrugged, like it was no big deal. “It’s okay. I knew it wasn’t really you. I knew it wasn’t real.”

Tears filled my eyes. It had been real. There was no faking that feeling, the love that swept over me, breaking its way to the surface, finally free from restraint.

“It was real for me, Riley.” I managed. “Why didn’t you tell me about it? Why didn’t we talk about what happened?”

He winced, falling silent, like he didn’t know how to respond.

“Did you regret it? Is that why?”

“No. I wanted to tell you. I tried, but you didn’t have a clue. You were so into Grey already…it was easier to just leave it alone.” He shrugged, sadly. “I was afraid it would ruin our friendship. I was afraid…I was afraid of a lot of things.”

“Wait—” Suddenly I remembered that night at the Aurora, the night I first laid eyes on Grey and fell instantly in love. Riley had been trying, all night, to tell me something, but I was too high on Ecstasy, too busy dancing, too focused on Grey to listen.

“That night, at the club. You were trying to tell me then, weren’t you?”

He nodded. “I just couldn’t.”

I choked back my tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’m sorry I forgot.”

“It’s okay, Mac.”

“It’s not. It’s not.” I couldn’t put it into words, how upsetting this was. Like I’d lost something I didn’t even know I had. What could’ve been.

I hugged my arms around myself, trying to keep my tears at bay.

Riley reached out a hand to me, his face ashen. “I fucked up, Mac. Not you. I…I froze. I didn’t know what to do.”

I let out a shaky breath. It didn’t matter now, I realized. There was nothing we could do. Whatever we might’ve had, whatever we could’ve been…too much had happened since. We were two totally different people—both in love with someone else.

It took me a minute before I could speak. “It’s okay.” I sniffled bravely, trying to convince myself. “Like you said, it was a long time ago, right? We’re still friends.”

Riley’s voice was thick with remorse. “Yeah.” He agreed.

We fell silent, lost in thought, creeping ever nearer to home.

CHAPTER 69

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