Page 153 of Life of the Party

“Come on. It’s freezing.”

“I don’t care.”

He sighed a moment and then, like I was two, bent and scooped me out of the snow. I cried against his shoulder as he carried me back to the car.

How could anybody live through such agony? How could I be expected to go on, to lead a normal, happy life? I would never recover from this, there was no way—the pain was too great. Too constant. There was only one way for me to escape, one way for me to forget everything. I needed more heroin. I needed it soon. I needed it badly.

“Riley.” I sniffled as he buckled me into the seat. It hadn’t occurred to me to ask before; I hadn’t really cared. But now I needed to know how much time stood between me and my next hit. “Where are we going?”

“Are your feet okay?” He ignored my question, bending to inspect my toes.

“Fuck my feet, Riley.” I snapped. “Where are we going?”

He smiled at me. “Watch your hand.” He ordered, slamming my door shut. He walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat, taking a minute to warm his hands at the vents.

“Riley, answer me. Where are we going?” I demanded, wiping tears from my cheeks.

He ignored me again. He didn’t even look at me, slowly pulling back onto the road and accelerating over the icy pavement. Once we’d reached highway speed, once we were going too fast for me to jump out of the moving car, Riley turned to me.

“I’m taking you to rehab.”

“You’re…what?”

“You need help, Mac. I’m going to get you help.”

I froze with horror, realizing fully what he meant. I couldn’t go to rehab. Not without Grey. I needed heroin, now more than ever. I wouldn’t survive without it. What would I do when the pain got too bad? The thought made my blood run cold.

“I can’t go to rehab.” I shook my head resolutely. “Riley, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can Mackenzie. You have to.”

“I’ll…I’ll do it on my own, Riley. I’ll cut back, I’ll get clean on my own…”

“No.”

“You could help me, Ry, we can go somewhere, we can be alone and you can help me and I’ll quit, I really will.”

“No.”

“Please? Please Riley, I need it, you don’t know what it’s like.” Desperate, my eyes filled with tears again. I looked over at him, pleading. “Please, Ry. Please? It hurts so bad. I can’t go through it. Not alone, not now. It’s too soon. Please?”

His jaw clenched, but he was resolved. “No.”

“You can’t make me go!” Panicked, I screamed at him. My craving flared within me. I needed heroin. I needed more, now. “You can’t force me!”

“You’re right, I can’t.” He avoided my scorching gaze. “Your other option is jail.”

“Jail?” I scoffed angrily. “Yeah, right.”

“Seriously, Mackenzie. It won’t be that hard. Officer Stacey wanted to bring you in already. I don’t know how your parents kept him from searching your house. What would they have found, Mac? Enough to keep you and your friends in jail for a long time, I’ll bet.”

I blinked back tears—angry, frustrated tears—because I knew Riley was right. “You would send me to jail?” I whispered. “You would do that to me?”

“Yes, I would. If I knew it would help you.”

I shook my head, dropping it into my hands and sobbing with defeat. This wasn’t fair. None of it was fair. Why was this happening to me? I didn’t want to go to rehab. I didn’t want to get clean, not without Grey. I didn’t want Grey to be dead.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I cried.

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