Page 132 of Life of the Party

“Die Hard.They always have a marathon on Christmas day.”

“I wouldn’t want to wreck that for you.” I scoffed. I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to hang with the family—in truth, it would bring down the awkwardness level by far if he weren’t around. But I was going to miss Grey, and miss him badly. I hadn’t spent one night away from him for months.

I frowned again as he put my favourite pair of pyjamas in the bag for me. He smiled at my glum expression.

“Hey, don’t be like that. It’s only for two days. We’ve done weeks at a time before, remember?”

“Yeah, and I almost went crazy.”

He chuckled. “Mackenzie, I’ll be right here, in town. I’m five minutes away. If it gets too bad, you can escape them and come back.”

“Yeah.” I relented. It was nearly time for me to go. I zipped up the suitcase and sat back on the bed, eager now, excited for more than just holiday cheer. I pushed the sleeve of my sweater up and glanced meaningfully at Grey. “Can we do some more now? Before I go?” I’d been waiting for hours, ever since we shot up the last time.

“Sure.” He agreed, smirking casually. I knew he was just as eager as I was.

Then, a sudden thought occurred to me. “Grey, what am I going to do tomorrow?”

“Open presents?”

I giggled. “No, I mean…for heroin. I’ll have to do some. It won’t be a very Merry Christmas for anyone when I turn green. Still festive, I guess.”

I meant it as a joke, but Grey frowned at my predicament. “Is there any way you could leave? You could come here quick and I could…fix you up.”

“How would I explain that?” I wondered. “Maybe I should just take some with me. Then I can do it myself, I can just slip to the bathroom or something.” I looked down at my forearm riddled with little red, tiny dots. It couldn’t be that hard.

He raised an eyebrow at me. “Will you be able to?”

“Maybe. I’ve seen you do it like, a trillion times.”

“Yeah, but I’m not deathly afraid of needles.” Grey frowned. “Why don’t you try doing this one, then? See how you do.”

“Okay.” I picked up the supplies and began, taking a small chunk of the dark, sticky, tar-like heroin and placing it on the spoon. I added a splash of water and then heated it all with my lighter until the mixture was a dull, oily brown. Taking a tiny piece of cotton, I placed it in the spoon and then, grasping the needle shakily, sucked it up into the syringe. This part I’d done a hundred times before, but I still looked up at Grey for reassurance. “How was that?” I wondered.

Grey nodded, thoughtfully. “Good. Take a bit less though. Just to be careful.”

“Okay.” I breathed nervously and made a fist with my left arm, holding the needle in my right hand. I waited until a vein was apparent, glowing bluely beneath the translucent veil of my skin. I took a deep breath. I couldn’t believe what I was doing, that I was actually capable of sticking a needle into myself. Slowly, trying to keep my hand steady, I sunk the sharp steel through my skin, hitting the vein with ease.

Carefully, I retracted the plunger, watching as my blood spurted up into the syringe. Then, at Grey’s nod, I shot the drugs into my veins.

It felt good, almost better than usual. This time it came with an odd sense of power. I was able to do it myself. I could get myself high. I felt so independent, so…in control. I slumped over, a heavy smile on my face, and looked up at Grey.

“How’d I do?” I wondered breathily.

“You’re a champion.” Grey chuckled. He took a tiny chunk of the heroin and wrapped it up in a separate balloon for me, hiding everything else I’d need in the bottom of my bag. “Be careful, Mackenzie, and don’t let your parents catch you with this stuff.” He warned. “There’s only one conclusion they’ll jump to, and it’ll be the right one this time.”

“Okay.” I nodded slowly. I watched, overcome by waves of bliss as Grey got out some supplies for himself. He was so quick, such a pro, it took him seconds to inject rather than the minutes it took me. When he was done he fell back heavily, putting his arm around my shoulders and drawing me near.

“Merry Christmas, Mackenzie.” He smiled drowsily, kissing my cheek.

“Merry Christmas, Grey.”

CHAPTER 54

Christmas. So. This was it. I sat on the leather couch at my parent’s house, wrapped in a cozy blanket, watching the scene unfold. I was happy. I had just shot up not ten minutes earlier, and I was in my happy place. A smile lit my lips as I watched my father pass out presents in joviality. A fire crackling in the hearth.

My mom had her new camcorder out and every few minutes she’d scan the room, though there was nothing new to record. Marcy and Blake were snuggled up on the other couch. Blake was wearing a striped two-piece pyjama set with matching robe and slippers. He was sixty if he was a day, and every time I looked at him, I laughed.

Christmas did seem to hold some special power, besides joy and peace and all that. My mom, my dad, my sister, her husband…no one seemed to harbour any ill will towards me, not like the last time I’d seen them.

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