Page 60 of Marrying a Spy

“I’ve got this,” he said as he got out of the car.

Sophia didn’t wait for him. She practically ran into the store and came out a few seconds later carrying a key on a long chain. She glanced over at him for a second before turning the corner of the store and heading over to the bathroom.

Noah followed after her. When he got to the door, he leaned against the wall. He propped up his foot as he tipped his head toward the darkened sky. Stars shone above him. One of the benefits to driving out in the country. For a moment, he allowed himself to think about how beautiful they looked.

He allowed himself to wonder what it would have been like to be here with Sophia on their honeymoon. No James. No CIA. Just the two of them. She’d love him, and he would be allowed to love her. There would be no worry of safety. He could love her without holding back—something that his heart so desperately wanted to do.

The sound of the lock turning snapped him out of his thoughts. Sophia jumped when she saw him but then pushed past.

“Did you need to use the bathroom?” she asked. Her voice was strained.

Noah hated what he’d done to her. “Can we talk?” he asked, reaching out and grabbed her elbow.

Sophia took a step away and stopped. She kept facing forward, but it seemed she was willing to listen.

“I’m sorry,” he said. His voice came out low, but he didn’t care. She had to know how he felt. That he didn’t want any of this. If it were up to him, he’d choose her. Every time.

“I know,” she said. She turned to face him.

Her response threw him off. “You do?” he asked.

Sophia lifted her arm, shrugging him off. He watched as she took a few steps back. She was retreating, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

She laughed. It was strained and forced. “Noah, we were fools to think that we could have anything between us. If it didn’t work back then, there’s no way it’ll work for us now. Not with all this.” She waved her hand in the direction of James.

She didn’t understand. That’s not how he felt at all. He wanted to make this work. He was willing to do what it took to change their fate.

“But, Sophia—”

She held up her hand. “It’s okay, Noah. I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me anymore. You and I? We’re done. And I’m fine with that.” Her voice rose a few octaves, and she pinched her lips shut as she swallowed. “Sorry, but I’m really okay. I swear.” She moved forward so she could rest her hand on his arm. “You are absolved of all of this. You were just doing your job, and I was the idiot who got too involved.”

She sighed, blowing some strands of hair from her face. “I think it was our past that had me all rattled.” Her cheeks hinted pink, but she smiled. “I promise to never do that again. Once you get what you need, it’s okay for you to leave. I’m leaving myself.”

Noah furrowed his brow. “What? Where?” His chest squeezed as he thought about Sophia leaving.

She shrugged and pulled her hand away. “I’m not sure. Once everything settles down, I’m going to sell my house and move. Get a fresh start.” She smiled at him. “It’ll be nice. It’s time.”

He wanted to tell her not to give up on him. But he couldn’t do that to her. She was trying to pick up the pieces of her broken heart. How could he stop her? If she wanted to start a new life—even if it was without him—then he should let her. He needed to stop dragging her back into the past. Sophia deserved better.

He smiled at her, even though his heart was breaking inside. “That sounds like a great plan, Soph. I’m happy for you.”

She paused as she studied his face and then nodded. “Thank you. I’m happy too. For the first time, I’m allowing myself to be happy.” She took a deep breath and then blew it out slowly. “It’s good.”

Out of instinct, he reached out his arm, but when she didn’t move to hug him, he patted her shoulder. “Well, let’s get this over with so you can move on with your life.”

She met his gaze, held it for a moment, and then turned and headed back to the car. Noah watched her retreat, not ready to follow her.

He loved her. She was the reason he’d stayed alive all those years. It was her smile that brought him up when he doubted himself. It was the hope that someday they would fix what he’d broken between them that had kept him going. But that chapter was closing, and when this mission was over, that door would be shut, locked, and boarded over.

But he couldn’t turn his back on this. Not when her life was at stake. There was no way that Georgie would let any of them live. So, for the sake of her protection, Noah would force his breaking heart to the back of his mind and focus on the mission. Sophia was going to be safe and happy, if it killed him.

And then she’d move on, and that was okay. She deserved a man who was going to bring her happiness. Because he loved her, he was willing to let her go.

Shoving his hands through his hair, Noah followed after her. When he got into the car, he glanced over to see James sitting at the wheel with a solemn look on his face. Noah studied him.

“Is everything okay?” He glanced in the backseat to see that Sophia hadn’t returned. His heart picked up speed as he whipped his gaze to the gas station. He let out a breath of relief when he saw Sophia standing at the counter, buying a soda. He focused his attention back on James. “What’s wrong?”

James looked over at him. “Georgie is going to be gone tonight. Apparently, there is some gala he’s attending. If you want a chance at seeing that book, we have to go now. We are an hour away. If we leave soon, we’ll make it before he gets back.”

Noah nodded. Suddenly, Sophia and his aching heart didn’t matter as much. A result of years of training to push aside personal issues in favor of the mission. When the time came, he’d make the necessary call. Once Sophia was safe, nothing else mattered.

Noah cleared his throat and settled into his seat. “Let’s do this, then.”

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