Page 49 of Marrying a Spy

Chapter Sixteen

Sophia’s mind was racing as she stared at her dad. He was here. In her kitchen. With Noah. What had they been talking about, and why hadn’t Noah woken her up?

She glanced over at Noah, who had a pained expression on his face that he was trying very hard to cover up. She was worried. She hadn’t overheard their conversation, but their voices had been low and stern. Something was happening, and she had a feeling that neither of them would be honest with her.

But right now, she needed to focus on the fact that her dad was here. It was so strange, and her mind was struggling to process it.

Her dad stepped forward and extended his hands. He looked just as unsure as she felt. Was she supposed to hug him? Did she want to?

As if he sensed her hesitation, he stopped moving toward her, instead, he reached up to rub his beard. “I saw the announcement,” he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a newspaper clipping.

Sophia took it from him and stared at the picture of her and Noah with their arms around each other. “And you what, wanted to congratulate us?” She shoved the paper back at him and crossed her arms again.

It made her angry that James was here. What kind of father leaves and only comes back when he sees a wedding announcement in the paper? This all felt like an act. He wasn’t the kind of father who cared about his daughter getting married. She had been doubtful that he would even come—no matter what Noah said. Yet, he was standing here, talking to her, and she wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“I know. I’ve…” He closed his eyes for a moment. “I know I don’t deserve to be part of this portion of your life. I know I’ve messed up. I guess I wanted you to know that I saw this and I’m happy for you.” He shrugged. “But I’m sure that doesn’t matter too much to you. So I’ll leave.” He shot her a pained expression. “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. That wasn’t my intention.”

Sophia just stared at him. What was happening? Before she could speak, James gave her a small smile, like that was supposed to make her feel better, and then turned to clap Noah on the shoulder. They exchanged a look, and then her dad moved toward the door.

Feeling like she was completely in the dark, she held up her hand. “Wait a minute. Are you telling me that you came all the way here just to say that you don’t want to go to the wedding? To be a part of the biggest day in my life?” Of all the low-life, dirty things. Her father really topped himself this time.

He hesitated before turning back toward her. “I figured you didn’t want me there.”

She scoffed. Sure, in a ridiculous fantasy she’d imagined her father walking her down the aisle. For a second, she allowed herself to wonder what it might be like to have a parent around again. Even if they were wanted by the CIA, someone here was always better than someone gone.

What a fool she was to even entertain those thoughts. How could she be so dumb?

In order to save face, she tried to look like she didn’t care that he was breaking her heart. She made her way over to the counter and leaned against it. “I don’t care,” she said, wincing at the unconvincing tone of her voice.

When she looked over at Noah, he gave her a sympathetic smile. Great. Even Noah knew she was lying. Sophia sighed, turning to grab a glass and fill it with water. After taking a drink, she glanced over at her dad. He was standing there as if he wasn’t sure what he should do. She’d never been in a room with this many confused and uncertain people.

“Well, the door is there,” she said, waving her hand toward it.

He glanced at it and then back to Noah. James nodded as he pulled open the front door and then hesitated. It seemed like he was looking at something. She shifted to glance around him, but before she could see anything, he shut the door, resting his hand on the knob.

“I want to be here, Sophia,” James said. His head was ducked, and his shoulders were sagging. Like there was something more he wasn’t telling her. Why wouldn’t he just tell her the truth? Her mother had said that telling the truth was something her father was incapable of.

“You do?” Noah asked. He sounded truly confused.

Her dad glanced over at Noah, and they shared a look. Sophia wondered what it meant, but then forced herself to ignore it. She couldn’t trust either of these men. Sure, Noah had confessed a lot, but there was a part of his life that he was still keeping from her. She could feel it.

James turned and glanced over at Sophia. “Please let me be a part of this. You’re…you’re my only family.”

Sophia studied him. She wanted to say it was his own fault. Her mother was gone because of him. She was never going to come back. She was dead and so was Benny. But James looked as broken as she felt. So, despite the warning bells in her mind, she shrugged.

“Sure, fine. Whatever.” She turned to dump out the water from her glass. Great. Now he knew that he’d rattled her. He would see right through her facade and know just how much he’d really hurt her. Was she ready for him to know that?

No. She wasn’t ready to be vulnerable with him. She needed to keep the wall that she’d built up around her heart. So she turned and nodded to the both of them. “I’m going back to bed. Big day tomorrow.” She walked past them, grateful that neither of them called out to her to stay.

Once she was in her room, she crawled back under her covers and lay there. She squeezed her eyes shut, and the tears that she’d kept at bay slipped down her cheeks.

She could do this. She could be strong. Besides, after the wedding was over, her father would leave and Noah would stay. That thought made some of the stress squeezing her stomach dissipate. She still had Noah. She loved him and he loved her.

Finally, after some deep breathing, she fell asleep, chanting those words in her mind.

* * *

The sun streamed into her room the next morning, forcing her awake. She groaned as she turned and extended out her hand. Noah wasn’t in the bed with her.

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