Page 63 of When to Call a Blitz

The back is almost just as crammed, but we’re quickly able to find Briar, Isla, Heidi and the other girls as they dance in their usual corner.

“Hey!” Heidi greets, her smile lighting up the whole damn room.

And she looks good. Really, really good in her… Squidward costume? My mind rewinds back to the first Halloween I saw her, when she was the star fish, and it all makes a little more sense.

She’s one of us.

Happiness blooms inside of me and I desperately want to go to her. To touch her. To maybe tell her that I want to see where something goes.

But I don’t.

Because that would be hard.

“Hey!” I tell her before I can stop myself. “Can we actually talk for a second?”

Her brows furrow but she nods, following me with her fruity drink in hand. “Everything okay? Elara and Juniper good?”

I nod. “All good. I, well, I just wanted to touch base on you after everything that happened in the garage.”

She looks around. “That was a while ago, Emmett.”

I nod, instantly starting to feel like absolute shit. “Yeah, I just, I don’t know. We’ve been around each other a lot more lately for whatever reason and I just wanted to make sure you were feeling okay.”

Her green eyes search mine, and I can tell that she’s desperately trying to figure out what I’m going on about. “Can you just tell me why you’re really asking me this?”

I blow out a puff of air. “I’m just not in a place for anything to you know,” I wince, “happen. I think you’re amazing, I just think you deserve a lot better.”

I watch as several different emotions cross her face at once, and after a moment, all that’s left is embarrassment.

Heidi looks at her feet before tucking a phantom hair behind her ear. “I know that,” she whispers.

“I think what we have going here is really great,” I add, trying to make things better but making things a million times worse instead.

“Yeah,” she graces me with an awkward, stale smile.

“Great.” My heart pounds in my chest as it dawns on me what a giant piece of shit I am. I want to immediately rescind my words, but I know it’s too late. There’s no coming back from it.

“If you don’t mind,” she whispers, unable to meet my eyes. She gently pushes me just slightly so she can wedge herself away and disappears into the room.

30

EMMETT

“So you’ve dealt with all of these feelings by not dealing with them?” Heidi asks, looking up at the deep purple sky.

I look over at her, hyper-aware of her fingers nearly touching mine in the sand. “How have you dealt with them?”

She fights back a smile, the corner of her eye wrinkling. “The same way you have.”

“That’s what I thought.” I laugh, and for the first time in a long while, it’s a real one. A true, happy laugh.

Heidi’s head whips to mine, her smile growing. “That’s a nice sound, Gardner.”

“What was your favorite thing about growing up?” I ask suddenly. I’m not sure what my sudden desperate need to know is.

She thinks for a second. “I think it was the trouble Isla and I would get into as kids.” She smiles up at the sky. “We’ve been best friends for a really long time. When we were kids, we would build forts out of sticks in the back of her parent’s house. The second Leo would walk by we would jump out and tackle him.”

I chuckle. “That makes sense.”

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