Page 75 of When to Call a Blitz

I feel like fire was poured on me, with every inch of my skin burning as my ears heat up.

“That’s—”

She shakes her head. “I’m not playing this game with you, Emmett. I adore your daughter and I’m thankful for you giving me a job, but you’re my boss now. We’re not friends. You don’t get to take an interest in my life whenever you want but ignore me and make me feel small the next.” She sets the pot down roughly, her full body turned to me, her finger pointed right at my chest.

“I don’t expect?—”

Her eyes turn sad in an instant. “Emmett,” she nearly pleads.

Her shoulders slump, and I watch as she lets out a breath, her fingers reaching up to touch the small purple stone at her neck.

I don’t want to argue. I don’t want to make her feel small. That was never the intention.

Without a word, I turn and head into the garage, wanting nothing more than to blast some music and not think about anything at all.

I get about an hour of peace before someone knocks down the door in fiery glory.

Heidi looks pissed, her green eyes narrowed at me, her hair wild. She walks down the steps into the garage quickly, her flannel blowing in her wake.

“I need to know why you’re being like this,” she tells me. I stand from the car, grabbing my rag. The black from the engine won’t completely come off, but they’re clean enough.

“What are you talking about?”

“Whatever this is between us.”

Something snaps inside of me watching a tear roll down her face. Replaying how her voice just shook.

All the anger and the agony comes rushing back to me, and I’m suddenly standing in front of her, gently pushing her against the car. She looks up at me, her face a mask of defiance, her fists at her sides balled up.

“I don’t know what I want.” It comes out like a tortured plea.

She scoffs, looking away from me, and I grab her chin so she’s looking me right in the eyes. “I fuckingwant you,Heidi. More than I care to admit. But I cannot have one more person to lose.”

She gulps, her eyes searching mine. Her tongue peeks out to lick across her bottom lip before she whispers, “So you’re going to live your whole life without letting anyone else in? That’s a really lonely life to live, Emmett.”

I nod. “It’s one I’m prepared for.”

Heidi’s hair falls over her shoulder as she shakes her head. “No, I don’t think you are. Because I can tell that you want to be loved. I can tell that there’s something in that heart of yours. That man I talked to out on that sand that night was completely different than this.”

“That man doesn’t usually exist.”

“But he can. He does.”

I take in a deep breath, the smell of berries hitting my hitting my nose. “I don’t want to hurt anyone. No one should have to deal with me.”’

“I’m already dealing with you. I’m here.”

“And look how angry you are.”

“Emmett.”

“Heidi.”

We’re at a standstill, and I don’t know who will be the first to break. I don’t want to say anything else. I don’t want to make things worse. I know that I have a lot of faults, and I try not to let them hurt other people.

But my desire to have someone next to me, someone who knows even a fraction of my pain, has reared its ugly head, and its only hurting her.

“Please,” she whimpers, her voice so soft and desperate that it hits me like an anvil to the chest.

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